Elizabeth
  • 58, Female
  • United States
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About Me:
Am a single mom mourning the loss of my mom, who was mi inspiration, my best friend, my support team when life was difficult.. 
About my Loss:
At 2:03am, on Wednesday October 26, 2011 my mother died. Plagued with never ending 
skin infections, colostomy, and dementia, I had been caring for
my mom since September of 2005. She had no insurance and due to
a typo via her social security benefits, I took full responsibility for caring for my poor suffering mom.
Was taught by different nurses to care for the different issues and became quite the learned
caretaker. ( wound care colostomy) I lost 2 jobs, my home, and about 90% of all I owned  to move mom to a place where 
it would be easier to care for her. I didn't mind, I loved her and so desperately wanted to help
her recover but as one thing healed(she needed 2 operations but the chances of her survival were
slim) I fought social security, applied for welfare ( mom's ss was NOT denied but suspended;
translated to no help from any organization, including office of aging, various legal sites, no one cared.
I watched her slowly die, buying what I could medical supplies, medications, or appointments, am also a single mom of one child. 
My son loved grammy and he would come with us to hospitals and appointments that could last up to
8 or so hours sometimes. (on June 28th it will be 17 years that my father died, he committed suicide as he was 
dying of cancer. My grandfather also became ill shortly after dad, and begged me to let him pass on rather then go to the hospital; I called an ambulance as he cried piteously..
He like my mom had problems with stomached and bowels intestines.. Every time a family member goes into a hospital
they do not come out.... The nurses and doctors told me I did a fantastic job especially since had little to no help. Mom's friends all abandoned her the last
2 years.. No one wanted to help or see my once brilliant mom, kind & loving into the angry depressed suffering woman.
I would never leave her could never leave her or lose hope... She was born during Stalin's GreatTerror or Purge, born in war with nothing
and died with my son and I beside her. My brother could not handle her state
physically, as I would clean and wash any mishaps, and wounds and colostomy... I don't overly blame him it was difficult.
And when the paranoia set in her rants were hurtful but they were not HER! I never took it personally I told her I loved her and would never
leave her but her being so helpless only seemed to make it worse. She didn't want me to waste my life taking care of her but was terrified if I left her.. She needed me for so much. She did obtain emergency care via ss but
still no med pt b... I didn't mind and stayed with her in hospital when my friends offered to keep my son for the night(not on school days)
I miss her so much and cannot speak of her without crying  and my brother refuses to talk about her past a comment. No one wants to hear how much
am still hurting. There is more but I cannot write anymore.... I miss her so much... We used to walk in spring and name all blossoms and trees... 

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