I tried to write something and mess it up...what I was saying is I lost my dad on Jan 6--10 days before I was going to spend a semester in France back in 1985. This year my sis and bro are in Fl on hoiday and my sis in law probably won't come because she doesnt' get on with my hubby.  And hubby is just not easy to deal with.  So not looking forward to tomorrow.  But....I am going to Mass tonight--with trepidation.  Last time I went was 7 weeks ago---and cried all the way through it.  Am worried it will be the same again tonight.  I prayed for Jess and when I took communion I felt connected to Jess and felt as if I were taking it for HIS strenghth as well.   I am here to talk to.  I don't completely understand your loss--but--I promise you can swat me if I ever sound cliche' or say something that you DON'T want to hear.  I will never tell you it will take time.  I will never tell you she's with you in your heart.  I will never tell you you will never totally get over her loss. I can say---others have told me it DOES get easier.  But as I said in my first message--YOU NEED TO TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED.  Something else they said to do is to set aside 15 min a day and just think and actively grieve, cry anything.  Someone also told me to  write letters to him.  Someoen told me to keep a grief journal.   One thing that has kept me going is to watch a tv show that to me and my mom is very funny.  One hour a day?  I allow myself to laugh.  First few days it was hard but now?  I do laugh at it.  And it does lift my spirits.  I don't understand what you feel with your sons....I won't even try to pretend I know.  But I will say this----they will grieve at their own pace too.  I think eventually--you will be reunited.  Maybe?  Hopefully.  ok gotta run...hugs keep in touch