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I am older than you and was quite angry when my husband died of cancer. My children are in their 20's and live with me...we've talked since day one about their father. I know some people prefer to almost forget that entire life existed and never want to say that person's name, but for us, we cry and laugh about stuff we know he would have a reaction to. If you have a church that you attend, maybe you can find someone there to talk with...otherwise this forum is pretty open for whatever you want to say. Good luck to you.