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Carol S.'s Friends

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About my Loss:: After 28 years, My husband, Ken and my son, Kenny 21 moved to FL on February 2, 2015. We sold our house and packed up our belongings. I had taken care of my Mom whom had dementia and she had passed June of 2014. Now, Finally ready to move, the doctor tells my husband that he has stage IV cancer!. He has radiation and we move to FL. The cancer had grown so fast that The Cancer Center could not do anything. Ken died 3 weeks ago. I am a widow at 51 and live in a new town. I feel like I am in a nightmare and going to wake up and walk into the other room and Ken will be waiting there for me. Ken's cancer went into the bone and it was so painful. I spent every waking moment for 3 months trying to keep him as comfortable as I could. He died on March 10th. He was 53 and we were just ready to start having some fun in life. It isn't fair! I feel the same way. My heart has been torn out. I have been walking around like a zombie for 3 weeks in shock. Now, that I can feel, my whole body feels like it is being torn out from the inside! My best friend is gone! My husband has died! I have to tell everyone I meet. They have to know. Now, I want to die and be with him but it will not be fair to Kenny. My life is over!!!