Brian loesche
  • Male
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
Share on Facebook MySpace
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos

Gifts Received

Gift

Brian loesche has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Brian loesche's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
I’m 35 n struggled to take car of my ill mom with cirrhosis stage 4 n cancer stage 4 for almost 2 years. I tried my best, but we ended up homeless, and my dad bought her a ticket back to family in California arroyo grande, I took her to all her dr appointments, and did it all alone beside a little income from her we. My mom had gran nap seizures nearly everyday, it was hard and has changed my life, and I’m in a bad place. My mom mom is free of pain and she suffered everyday, I’m glad she is free of pain. In recent months I rigged myself back to working and have my own place, n I just wanted to see her one last time, her tumor spread and she started becoming scared, she felt alone, she left me 4 last voicemails day before she passed, and I was at work and missed them, I called her right back after work n I couldn’t reach her, she expressed her love and she sounded in so much pain, we battled this since 2010. My last conversation on Saturday the day before she called me and I messed it was a beautiful conversation. I’m trying to turn to god but our family is broken, and I have so much guilt of wanting to do better for her, she deserved more love n for me to make her happy during th last of her times, my mom battled over 20 ailments, N was the strongest woman I know. I feel now horrible about myself and cry for her every night wanting to join my mama bear. I wish I had someone to talk to . During me helping her and getting her off the streets when my dad kicked her out while she was dying I picked her up and was there for her when no one was. I need comfort and I don’t think I can get thrown th this, my dad felt bad so he put her cremation on his credit card, but now we r all broke n can’t even be together to spread her ashes. My memory of every night listening to breath through her door to make sure she’s alive haunts me, I feel empty and a void has consumed me. I love you mom
About my Loss:
Loss my mother of cirrhosis n stage 4 liver cancer, in the end she was so scared , her last words to me was don’t ever say we won’t see each other again.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I use to be an emt and worked for city and county of Honolulu

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Susan Prost updated their profile
yesterday
Nancy Wilson is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Welcome Them!
Filling Machine updated their profile
Dec 26, 2024
dream moon JO B posted a blog post

Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2, 2024
0 Comments
Profile IconBert Sel and Nikki joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 27, 2024
Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 19, 2024
Welcome Them!
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5, 2024
Welcome Them!
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21, 2024

© 2025   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service