I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. I lost my only sister when she was 4 years old I was 10 I'm 35 years old now and sometimes I wish she was here so bad. Almost 2 months ago I lost my dear friend due to an accidental overdose. I miss him so much. I'm also a mother. All I can say is that your baby needs you and your sister would want you to be happy and enjoy being a mother. This is a new and wonderful experience. Even though she isn't here to watch you through this new adventure she is with you. You will start to notice that she is. She would want nothing more than for you to enjoy you're new little blessing. I know that life is hard without her but remember the good things about her, her smile, her laugh, your little inside jokes and smile when you remember those things. She admired your strength and love for life. Continue to be that person for her and your new baby. Hugs and prayers to you.