Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Anne Courter
- Female
- Canon City, CO
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am a 64 year old woman who lost her husband three years ago. After the death of my husband, I moved from Kansas to Colorado to be closer to our only child, Richard.
living closer to Richard, but I don't feel I can expect him to devote his life to me.
I have finally starting seeing a grief counselor and have joined a woman's support group. This seems to be helping.
I am finding it a bit difficult to find new friends and someone to do things with. It would be nice to have company to go out to dinner, take a walk, see a movie whatever.
Life is hard, but it is getting better, I think. I have begun to volunteer at the church and with a literacy program tutoring a darling second grade girl, Lexus.
I realize that life will never be the same, but I do want life at some point to be enjoyable again. I am having trouble finding and accepting a new normal for me.
- About my Loss:
- My beloved husband, Dick died February 25th, 2008 from complications following double lung transplants. His transplant center was in St. Louis, MO, 500 miles from our home in Kansas.
We went to St. Louis in June, 2007 for re-evaluation of his condition to see if he was still a good candidate for transplants. We packed for the intended 3 day evaluation process. On the third day, Dick was admitted to the hospital in Intensive Care. He stayed in the hospital for the next 8 months.
The gift of donor lungs did come to him in August, 2007. It was a miracle and amazing. We had about thee days of real joy and hope after the transplants, but then, all the complications began.
He had severe reactions to some of the anti rejection drugs and on and on. For the next 5 months, Dick was in intensive care and in an isolation room because of his compromised immune system and his general physical weakness. It was so very frightening, depressing, scary and all that.
He worked so hard to regain strength. He had to learn how roll over, sit up, and walk without assistance. Just like a new born baby. It was heart breaking to watch my independent, proud man have to go through all this.
Before the transplants, Dick was 6'3" tall and weighed 250 pounds. At one point, he only weighed 150 pounds. It was horrible.
He never gave up! He worked so hard and finally, he could walk 20 steps without assistance or a walker and we were able to leave the hospital and go to an apartment we rented close to the hospital. He was making amazing progress and we were actually beginning to think we would be able to go back home to Kansas.
Then I woke up Monday morning February 25th 2008 to find him laying beside me dead. He was just laying there looking so peaceful.
Evidently, a blood clot had formed and made it's way to his heart and that was that.
It was unbelievable. There are times when I still can't believe it's true.
Part of me died with him. He is the love of my life, I can't imagine living the rest of my life without him. However, it appears I will do just that.
Dick was wonderful, loving, considerate, caring, helpful, funny, hard-working, a dedicated spouse, devoted father, accomplished artist, dog lover, witty, fun-loving, proud, gentle, responsible, etc. He always made me feel safe and protected. I miss that.
Groups
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
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Loss of a loved one to a…
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Grief Counseling
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Sibling Loss
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Losing My Sister
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Losing a Sister
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Funeral Service
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I miss my Mom!
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
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Loss of a child In memor…
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Too Young To Die
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Multiple Losses Group
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Zoom Grief Support
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Orphaned Adults
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Sole Survivors
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"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Hi Anne, sorry you have not been welcomed before this. I don't get on the site very often, but there is usually someone around. I'm sorry for your loss and that you are still feeling out of place (my choice of words). I can tell you had a very special relationship/love with your husband from reading 'about my loss' section. I lost my son last July so I know our grief is a little different, but I have come to realize it doesn't matter who you lost if they are a significant part of your life. Grief is grief. I hope you continue to heal and find what you need to move forward. In general life is just day by day. Sometimes in grief it's minute by minute, or hour by hour, and when we get to day by day we are beginning to heal. PTL I'm not quite there yet, but I'm slowly improving.
Blessings & comfort I hope for you,
Ann