Ann
  • Female
  • Andover, MN
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 22 years old. I am going to go school for CNA. I lost my father November 4th 2010. I grew up in Wisconsin.
About my Loss:
My father went to the hopsital March of 2010 for a lump underneath his arm, the doctor in the ER department said it is nothing. He also had pain in shoulder and was told it was a torn tendon. Needless to say it came back as cancer, he had lymphnoma. June of that year he was also diagnosed with lung cancer, then a month later diagnosed with esophageal cancer. It went back and forth with the doctors. Went through Chemo and about to do radiation. I never felt so hopless. Seeing how sad he was. He was signed up to do a study and his cancer doctor told him no because you have brain cancer.. that was a constant battle. He kept saying he had it then he didnt have it. Turns out that by september we got the truth. My father had all four, and the brain cancer took him the fastest. and by October he was hospitalized. One time at the hopsital he didnt even remeber my sister and looked at me with those glossy eyes and said who is she. Then transferred to a nursing home, then for two weeks of hearing his crys because the nurses didnt respect him, just tossed him around like he was nothing, super rough on him, he finally went. With me (one of his daughters) my best friend (whos my brother pretty much) and my uncles. I witnessed his death and his last breath. I struggle each day but I never give up. I have never cried a good cry or grieved.

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At 7:30am on May 18, 2012, Mary M. said…

Ann, I am so sorry about your Dad.  Reading your story I think about how my daughter must have felt watching my husband pass.  She insisted she wanted to be with him at the end but watching him struggle for that last breath is not what I had hoped her last memory of him would be.  

It's hard to grieve when you are angry because your Dad is gone and the people who were supposed to help him didn't.  I know I felt that way too.  But this insidious disease, cancer, knows no boundaries and strikes at any age, randomly it seems to me.  All we can do is pray that some day soon they will find a cure so that others don't have to go through what we went through.

If you ever need to talk, or just vent at somebody who is not so close to you or your situation, please feel free to contact me.

Try to find some peace in the knowledge that your dad is no longer in pain, being mistreated by nursing staff, but he is in a better place, watching over you and guiding you from a distance.  God Bless!

At 8:57pm on May 12, 2012, Mary Bucca said…

If you want, you can e-mail me at ilikechocolate2@aol.com.

 
 
 

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