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Comment by irina s on July 24, 2017 at 3:26pm

kim left you a request friend if you can accept us being friends.. also left you my number us widows need to stick together and i know there are widowers as well .. Call me or text me ... i spoke to other widow she make me feel little bit better 

Comment by M Adams on July 22, 2017 at 2:42pm

Enjoying the idea of a conspiracy of beloved cats, especially ones named Spooky -- thanks Morgan for letting me know of this connection. Actually my earlier post was also stimulated by a sense of connection with Bluebird's lost cat and John T's attachment to his and Diane's beloved pet. At this time it's hard for me to feel connected and I'm thankful for things that make me feel a bit human.

The shared name thing reminds me that about a year after Spooky came into our lives, I got the idea that someone in the neighbourhood was mocking me, because I would hear some calling "Spooky, Spooky" the exact same way I did ....then it turned out that someone in the next street had a new kitten that he had named Spooky. My husband found that quite funny. Good to remember something nice from the past -- really appreciate experiencing something other than the alternating sad and numb sensations of bereavement.

Comment by morgan on July 21, 2017 at 10:43pm

M Adams,  Sometimes I wonder how it is that if I pay close attention, the world seems to live and breathe using me as its vessel.  Reason I say that is what are the chances that your cat was named Spooky and you are on this website?  Because our cat was also named Spooky.  Of all the names in the world can we wonder how it was that our cats names were the same? Why we both in our grief as my cat got cancer and died sept 2015 and was truly my husbands cat until my husband died in Jan 2013 and here we are connecting over our grief.....Sometimes I wonder.....aloud.....sometimes I wonder.......quietly.  But I do wonder how it is we both had a cat named Spooky......just a ramble but I thought it was kind of "spooky".

Comment by M Adams on July 20, 2017 at 9:32am

Hearing about people's cats makes me want to say the name of our dear little cat Spooky. She was one of those sweet cats that wait for you at the door, recognize the sound of your car approaching, and come when you call...so of course we were always calling her name to bring her home for supper or bedtime. Then she died so suddenly last year -- my husband and I were devastated, and he wanted to adopt another kitten at once, but I felt I needed more time. Two months later my husband died, also suddenly.

Wish I had gone along with his desire to have another pet, I miss them both so much -- yet I don't think I will have a pet again. It's like now I should be alone. But I did have two cat experiences that were strange but comforting -- the first a few days after Spooky's death, and then two months later, after my husband's death. Both times the same pretty tabby cat came walking into the living room as if she lived here, strolled around, then insisted on jumping up next to me on the couch. Both times she went right to sleep and stayed by me for at least an hour. Weird but good, and soothing. It hasn't been repeated -- it was a year this Sunday since my husband's death, and after her second visit, last summer, the tabby never came here again. Sometimes I have felt like I shouldn't acknowledge grieving the loss of our cat because it seems inappropriate when my husband is dead, like people will feel that sadness about a cat is a trivial self indulgence, but it is another true relationship gone forever and one that my husband and I cherished. She was the runt of the litter and we had her from when she was very tiny -- she grew into a wonderful, beautiful cat and my husband got so much joy and laughter from knowing her. When we lost Spooky, we put a picture of her on the mantelpiece, so now it is close to the photos of my husband that I look at each day.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 20, 2017 at 9:20am

Hi Irina,

I have over 20 diferent types of shirts with missing my Husband quotes

They show the different ones on the advertisments on Facebook

Linda

Comment by irina s on July 20, 2017 at 3:48am

A question if a member here decide to do something to him/her self to be with their spouse/love ones...how would us member know about it? 

Comment by Elynn m on July 19, 2017 at 11:35pm

I have been so lonely the past two days.   Have no desire to do anything right now.  Spent some time out in my garden, but that didn't help too much...just got a call from my son.  Said he'll be back soon (30 minutes).   Going to the lake with the family soon.  Thank God for my caring family .   Friends have been few and far between lately.   I'm thankful that I can come to griefshare and express my feelings.

Comment by bluebird on July 19, 2017 at 7:21pm

John,

I understand.  Aside from Summer and Benny, I still get sad about the loss of our dog Sandy, who we had when I was a kid and through my college years.  She died when I was in college, and I still love and miss her.  I don't think the pain when our loved ones (human or animal) die ever goes away.  With time it may become less harsh, less direct (depending on the person), but it never disappears.

I'm sure you cried for your cat in part because of him being one of the connections between you and Diane, especially with her birthday coming up. I know that is the case with me. It's as though each death exacerbates the pain of the others, at least for me. Are you planning to do anything on her birthday? Do you think it will be better for you to be alone, or to be with friends/family? Both are hard, of course, but just do whatever you think will be easier for you.

______________________________________________________

Anne and Lost, thank you.  

Comment by irina s on July 18, 2017 at 7:23pm

why some people get cancer and some people don't? ....yep kim i like come here & people talk about how they can't wait to pass so they can be with their love ones.. I want to pass away so badly to be with him and burial next to him...it hurts and im so in plain.......what do any of you do on your esp events like bdays,annivs,holiday like vday, xmas i was told its painfully wrost feeling bc of the remember and shopping and gifts. now it's nothing. 

Comment by irina s on July 17, 2017 at 7:07pm

I came cross this tshirt on ebay and order it...& going to wear it with proud even out in public... anyone have similar like this tshirt if you want order it here the link 

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Miss-My-Husband-Im-Not-A-Widow-Wife-Awaits-...

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