Comment

Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 25, 2018 at 5:16pm

Oh, Joe, I am so very sorry to hear that you are faced with such devastating news about your daughter! I am sending prayers of healing for her. You are already suffering the loss of your beloved wife, it is too much to be facing the possibility that your daughter may go before you. Prayers of courage and strength for you. 

I was going to wish all those celebrating a Merry Christmas, but this news makes it more difficult to wish that.

Be well, all of you on this forum. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 24, 2018 at 4:17pm

Today and Tomorrow mean nothing to me anymore. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 21, 2018 at 6:12am

Joe,

The picture of you and your lovely wife is just beautiful. You can see that special love you had and Morgan I too found my Husband on the bathroom floor, his eyes were open but he was in a coma and died 3 days later. He never spoke a word, but we shared our thoughts and feelings a week before he died. I just hate my existent in this world and just want to be with him. I am worth nothing since he passed.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 21, 2018 at 1:12am

Joe, 

Beautiful photo of you and the love of your life! The love you share/d comes through very strongly in the picture. The two of you look so very happy together.

Comment by morgan on December 20, 2018 at 10:29pm

Joe,  My husband died January 21, 2013, 8:48 am pronounced.  I found him on the floor of the bathroom.  Between the pre Thanksgiving time when he used to cook a magnificent meal just for the two of us, all through his time in the hospital during Xmas, through my January birthday until the day he died I now simply hide from the world.  Each year it has yet to be tolerable.  I just want an end to this pain of loss.  I function because I have to but I don't do it willingly.

And interestingly I see the affection you and your wife show in the picture you posted. I have similar ones where my husband and I always have our arms linked or touching each other or other kinds of loving gestures.  It pains me to know I cannot have that linkage now in this life.  I could never give myself to anyone else and I know my husband is my eternal soulmate.  I can hardly wait to cross over.  

Comment by morgan on December 20, 2018 at 10:20pm

Corinne,

You wrote "I am a pretty tough cookie of a woman but this has brought me to my knees. I have never ever experienced such a void or emptiness in my life. And these people in my life just don't get it. I find it so offensive when they offer me stupid patronizing platitudes like oh sweetie, its just gonna take a bit of time."

I was always strong.  I have been on my knees for years.  The chasm is so deep, so wide it is impossible to traverse. And you will slowly narrow your relationships to those who can offer at least some understanding of your loss.  You won't have enough energy for those who think this is like replacing your broken down car.  

And I have a bit of a tough time too understanding losses of family members versus our spouses but then there are some who never get the chance to have the kind of love that we experienced with someone we chose.  Both of my parents passed and so has my youngest brother but nothing holds a candle to the intimacy of loss that I had with my husband.  Its simply devastating and after this many years I am functioning better but the emotional me still breaks within about a 48 hour period.  Something always seems to trigger bringing his essence front and center and I cannot push it away until I cry and expend just a little more of life's energy trying to cross that threshold to reach him again.  I am exhausted on so many levels and anxious and hopeful I don't have long to have to keep questioning the need for my own existence.  

Comment by Monty on December 20, 2018 at 4:18pm

Hi Linda

That image is so poignant for this time of year and i think how most of us feel.

After my first anniversary yesterday, it was fine in the morning but in the afternoon it was quiet rough.

I'm hoping for a better day today, although not holding my breath, as I'm surrounded by teachers today who are celebrating christmas and the last day of term.

I'm going to have a sore tongue tomorrow from biting it today.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 20, 2018 at 3:16pm

Hi Morgan,

Well said. "We crawl through the season while others celebrate" After six Christmases without my Julian I know deep down inside that nobody gives a Shit except this forum. 

Comment by morgan on December 20, 2018 at 2:38pm

Yes, Linda,  I am trying my best to avoid the triggers that surround me right now but I know what this is going to be like.  Xmas Eve day I took my husband to the ER because he was filling sick and the day after Xmas we got his diagnosis of stage 4 cancer   He lasted 27 days.  

I am sending my sincere wishes that those of us who don't want to be here on earth without our spouses find a way to crawl through the season while others celebrate.  I plan to hide.

morgan

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 20, 2018 at 7:07am

I find myself sinking into a hole as Christmas Day is nearing. I am broken like this ornament I can never be put back together again.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 37
• 38
• 39
• 40
• 41
• …
• 339
• Next ›
• Page