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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 387
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

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Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 6 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Martha Washburn Sep 22, 2022.

Loss of spouse… 3 Replies

For 40+ years we were together…married 39 years….We were to celebrate our 40th anniversary…Nobody who hasn’t been married, and lost a spouse could possibly understand….even though he was into many…Continue

Started by Susan B. Last reply by Connie Sep 1, 2022.

Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3, 2020.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

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Comment by Monty on March 3, 2019 at 7:09pm

Hi Joe, Linda and Bluebird

thanks for the info re Benadryl.  Unfortunately, I've not had the success with it that some of you have experienced.

I've been trying the Benadryl for a few days now and unfortunately, it doesn't seem to help me much. I still wake up early morning most days 2-4 am

the only thing that seems to work for me is exhaustion.

if I go do some strenuous exercises it wears me out for about 2 days generally that night I sleep well and the next night not to bad.

although I am tired as during the day due to the heavy exercising.

I going to continue trying that and see if my body gets used to heavy exercising again.

regards Monty

Comment by Lisa on March 3, 2019 at 11:10am
Hi my name is Lisa, I lost my husband suddenly in september in the home we shared. I was at work at the time, he texted me, called and called again and left a message to come home as he was sick!...I didn’t see the messages for probably about 20 mins later ( wasn’t doing anything important at work I recall) by the time I got home he was unconscious and responders couldn’t bring him back!!...I am full of guilt, he didn’t ask for helping much and the time he did I failed him. How does one get over that if ever?...I have been told not my fault and to forgive myself but having troubles
Comment by bluebird on March 1, 2019 at 3:50pm
Linda,
I agree. Maybe if my husband visited me to let me know BEYOND DOUBT that he still exists and is still himself and that we WILL be together again -- I might get a good night's sleep if that happened.
Comment by Linda Engberg on March 1, 2019 at 8:43am

Hi Bluebird,

It;s been six years for me too. I take 50MG of Elavil and still haven't really had a good's night sleep yet and don't think I ever will until I die,

Comment by Trina Mamoon on February 27, 2019 at 2:18pm

Hello Joe,

Hope you are okay, and thanks for mentioning me in your message. As you so correctly point out, we are family here on this site; we care about each other, provide emotional support and try to lift up one another as best as we can. Had it not been for this site of likeminded people who have become like family, I would have not be able to keep my sanity and feel like that I am still connected.

I come to this site very often, especially if is there is a new post. Reading your thoughts and feelings and learning about your daily struggles to stay afloat brings me the strength and courage that I need to carry on each new day.

I think all of us on this forum is only all too familiar about how it feels to open your eyes first thing in the morning knowing that this is another new day that needs to be lived through, and to do it without meltdowns or extreme feelings of despair or pain. Each of us make our journey through the day (reminds me of the title of the play "Long Day's Journey into Night") without the love of our life next to us as best as we can. But Joseph is always next to me, he lives inside of me, and I feel his guiding presence as I negotiate my day, my week, and my pointless life through this harrowing solo journey that I have been placed on against my will.

What I find most painful now is that I have to continue to live in this horrible world that is full of hate and torn by suffering, poverty, and war. It's all so very ugly, and I am having to go on living without my darling Joseph! My life with Joseph was filled with light, love, positivity, and goodwill. It was so wonderful! But now wherever I look, on TV, on social media, it seems that people thrive on hate and negativity. How horrible it all is!

But thank goodness for you all, who take the time to come here to commiserate and bring comfort to the family we have built here. When I visit this forum, at least for a few minutes I can ignore the ugliness that is out there because it tells me that there are still good people out there. Thank you, one and all, for trying to make life a little more tolerable for us and a little less despondent by sharing your thoughts and feelings, by reaching out to us and giving us a community to come to in our time of need. Thank you!

Be well, all of you. Peace and hugs, Trina

Comment by bluebird on February 26, 2019 at 8:14pm
I've taken two Benadryl almost every night since my husband died over six years ago, except for the extra-bad nights, when I've taken a sleeping pill instead. I still get shitty sleep -- I wake up often, wake up early, and am never rested -- but at least I'm able to get some sleep that way.
Comment by Elynn m on February 26, 2019 at 6:04pm

I miss my JOE today, as I often do.   He was always the strength of our marriage.   He was God's gift to me.   I was blessed to have Joe as "the love of my life" for 41 years, then Jesus took him home.  Yes, I am sad, lonely, miss him,....and always wish that I would have died first, but that wasn't God's plan.   Everyone has a purpose and is special in God's eyes.    The sooner I fulfill that purpose, the sooner I get to go home!!!   ( I'll only know what God wants me to do by staying close to Him.)

Comment by Monty on February 26, 2019 at 4:55pm

thanks Joe

ill give it a go

Comment by Monty on February 26, 2019 at 4:27pm

Hi all

I've not checked in recently for a bit as its been very busy here.

work has been full on which means any energy reserves I have are fully utilised just taking care of the kids, let alone trying to maintain the house.

life has been fully exhausting me each and every day, its a constant reminder how much I used to rely on Carol to help me with doing the little things (as much as she could).

I feel I'm in desperate need of a full nights sleep.  I manage to get 1 or 2 a month, likely due to total exhaustion.

unfortunately, exhaustion is leading to the inevitable mistake here and there.

which in turn takes more time and energy to rectify.  once again leading me further down the hole.

if it wasn't for my father and mother in law coming and helping look after the kids once a month or so, I think I would be a total basket case.

I'm sorry to bitch and moan about how hard life feels atm. I know we are all facing our own private challenges. 

id like to thanks everyone here for putting up with my rants.

and hope everyone has as great a day as they can.

Regards Monty

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 26, 2019 at 5:49am

Hi Morgan,

I wish I could put into words how I feel, but you do it for me. I have given up trying to share my thoughts and feelings with Family or Friends. I go through this crummy world of ours in a daze. I now keep to myself and my sweet dog, Babie J. she is the strength in my life. She is now nearing the rainbow bridge. When I lose her I will lose myself someplace on this planet.   

 

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