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Comment by Linda Engberg on March 28, 2019 at 2:19pm

HI Joe,

Glad to be your friend. Sometime this computer stuff gets the best of me too. (LOL)

Comment by Joe Kelly on March 28, 2019 at 8:55am

Oh, what had happened is that I thought if I quit and rejoin, it would like reboot my setting back to like the beginning so that's what I did.  Just have to be careful now not to screw it up again.

Comment by Joe Kelly on March 28, 2019 at 8:53am

Just want to chime in here to say that if you noticed all my posts went missing, it's because I must have screwed something up in settings.  I wasn't able to see the pics I posted, and subsequently posted it three times not realizing you guys were able to see it.  I tried to change settings in every way I could but nothing worked.  I'm not familiar with social sites as I never belonged to any so even trying to figure out that I had to join the group just now, it took me a bit to find the join the group to comment thingy even though I found it when first joining before.  Now I have to try to get my friends back.  I only had I think about 9 so will send out invites to all I can remember, but, if I forget, please send me an invite.  Give me a bit to figure out how to do this again.  Glad to be back here.  Joe

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 23, 2019 at 4:13pm

Our last trip together, cruise to the Bahamas. What a great memory.

Comment by Monty on March 20, 2019 at 4:58pm

Hi Joe

that is such a beautiful history and you had such a beautiful wife. 

it shows we should all treasure what we have.

thanks for sharing

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 20, 2019 at 4:54pm

Hi Joe,

Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time.

Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us our soulmates. And I am grateful, even though we only had 19 years together. But so many people don't ever get a soulmate. But all of us here did. And I am grateful for that gift.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 20, 2019 at 3:56pm

Hi Joe,

Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 20, 2019 at 6:51am

Hi Everyone, 

Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did alone was run. He was always at every race I ran. The worst part I miss is his smiling face at the finish line. But I know his heart was beating in mine. This is one of tattoos I have on my arms.

Comment by morgan on March 19, 2019 at 11:08pm

I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.  Now I find I need to hear that I am not alone in my misery as I crawl through the hours that make up a day which extend to a month and total a year.  Just to know what you are feeling helps because so much of the time I have felt the exact same way.  

Although I have to admit I don't think I could do something as energetic as 26 mile runs.  Wow, Linda, that is amazing.  I mean how do you manage to breathe?  I have lost so much of my physical abilities.  You should be very proud that you are able to do it for Julian. I bet he is breathing for you!!

Trina.....as usual we feel much the same.  I can absolutely feel how you wanted to just disappear for the 15th and it was very kind of you to meet with the student of Joseph but I know exactly what you felt when you said it took you days to recover because of the amount of energy it took to do it.  I SO get that.  You hit the nail on the head.  At this point in our time without our loves we get better at functioning but the energy it takes to do everything much less something where you have to grin and bear it to bring some "normalcy" to engaging with someone who knew him.......oh dear, how hard that must have been.   I ran into an old friend of my husband about a month ago and he had no idea my love had died and he was so shocked and I just collapsed.  I barely made it into my friends car and I just melted.  I can imagine how difficult it was to stay focused during the time with Josephs student and there is every reason for it to take days to recover.  It took everything you had....bravo to you and I hope you are getting some of that energy back.  

Marita, like you I have a terrible time doing anything that remotely has a connection to what we did together.  I just can't handle it.  I have just given up pushing myself too hard and have to be ok with it.  The things I have to do I force myself but if I know I have a choice and it wont make much difference I decline to do it.  On looking back I see I was trying to present myself as being able to do things because others needed to see me as the "old" me.  Now I just consider that their problem not mine and I am working towards being able to be a full time hermit. 

I think overall I am just angry I am being put through this.  I never wanted to live alone and I am certainly never going to be with another man and though right now I have a friend staying with me who just needed a place to get through for awhile, I feel alone.  Its not that my husband chose to leave me alone.  I'm not angry at him.  I'm mad that the universe sees fit to keep me behind.  I want to be where he is and even if he isn't there its got to be better than this painful daily burden we all carry here.  

Monty, you are very kind.....and have more patience than me.  I guess part of that might be because of your boys but you are always wishing the rest of us well.  I want that too, I just don't think to always say it and you do.  Its a truly kind way of thinking......I think everyone here has similar feelings its just you say it.......thank you.....Each of us seems to help carry the weight of the rest of us and each of us has a different way to reach out......so in that vein, take care the best you can.......

And here we have three new people joining the website looking for advice and help......Its just so hard to keep up with the emotions that result from each of our situations.......I would have no way to write to everyone but I do hope they find nuggets of help by reading....its pretty much all we've got.

Comment by Marita on March 19, 2019 at 6:06pm

Trina,

Thanks for your encouraging words.

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