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Comment by Elynn m on December 9, 2016 at 11:04am

Michael, you might want to try some natural herbal supplements for depression.  They are lighter and mostly non-addictive.    They seem to work, and have less interactions with epilepsy drugs.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 9, 2016 at 10:29am

Michael & Peggy

I am going on my 4th year of seeing a therapist for my complicated grief. Only 10 percent of people who have lost someone go through it. I have come to the reliazation that I will have to deal with this until the day I die.  What a horrible way to live but I have no choice.

Linda

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 9, 2016 at 10:23am

Irwin,

I not proud to say that I am self-medicating myself to get through the Holidays. The meds I get from my therapist do not help.

Linda

Comment by Irwin on December 9, 2016 at 10:07am

My therapist says I have been experiencing Complicated Grief as well. Xanax has helped me tremendously, especially at night, with the stress and anxiety. I will only use it short-term. I feel like I've been taking baby-steps in my fight to deal with loss my wife, but then it hasn't even been 3-months since her passing. You may want to check into what can help you deal with the pain, but my personal opinion is to avoid medicating yourself if possible. Me.....I'm the poster-child for self-medicating one's self and I'm not proud of it, but it gets me through my day.

Comment by Michael on December 9, 2016 at 10:01am

Peggy
I would like to know what you took. I just friended you as i couldnt send a private message until you accept.

Comment by Michael on December 9, 2016 at 9:38am

So my brother thinks I'm suffering from
"Complicated Grief" (look it up) and should be on medication and seeing a psychistrist. Im wondering if he might be right. I have high anxiety, fear, sadness, depression and cant seem to function. I stay in bed a lot. Any thoughts? (Ive been seeing a counselor but doesnt seem to help.)

Comment by Michael on December 5, 2016 at 9:21pm

Carolyn, Jan and Elynn
Thank you for resching out. We are all invtge same shitty boat. Wish we could all be together in person but this will have to do.

Comment by Jan on December 5, 2016 at 6:19pm

Michael, I can't say I know just how you feel because I don't. Each of us loved special  people and each relationship is unique.  I don't know if I could have done what you did for 10 years.  I only had 4 months once we found out about things.  We were each married to our perfect match and that can't be replaced even if someone wants it to be, which I don't.  I know the heartache you feel and it's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone else.  I can't tell you how often I've cried out loud "I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK" thinking that if I was loud enough it would happen.  I can only offer to pray that we all will someday come to terms with a way to deal with our anguish and make some kind of life for ourselves. There definitely isn't any quick fix for this.

Comment by Elynn m on December 5, 2016 at 5:16pm

Michael,  I am sorry for your loss.  My husband went to be with Jesus 15 months ago.  Asbeveryone else feels, I too am struggling with my loss.   Joe was the best I could have asked for.  Perfect for me!  God is faithful.    And if it's any consolation,  Psalm 116:15 says, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His loved ones."   You are right, the pain is worse at times.  With the holidays coming up, I can expect that it will be difficult.   Family is important.   Know that you are encouraged to share any thoughts here on this site. (Because sometimes friends and family don't know what you are going through).

Comment by Michael on December 5, 2016 at 4:44pm

I have been told I should repeat my story over and over to help me grieve and mourn. So bear with me. Nobody wants to hear it in person. They think I should move on. I can't. My wife, Roxanne, was everything to me. I cared for her, with equal help from her sister, for 10 years of illnesses only to see her die unexpectedly from something else - a heart issue. Im mad at the world. Everything has been taken from me. Roxanne was the perfect person for me, even with her various illnesses. Going on is sad, lonely, hopeless. I guess she is out of pain, but I'm immersed in it - 24 hours a day. Im feeling very alone and isolated. I loved my life with her. I hate my life now. Thanks for listening.

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