Comment

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 26, 2017 at 4:13pm

I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me

Comment by Crystal on April 26, 2017 at 3:56pm

When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 26, 2017 at 2:36pm

I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person

Comment by M Adams on April 26, 2017 at 2:16pm

Not sure what is normal, but I do that too -- it's normal to me and I haven't tried to change it. It's not so much that I can't bring myself to use the past tense, more that the present still seems natural to me when something that includes my husband comes up. I still also talk about things that we do, rather than did, or that we like, rather than liked. I haven't had anyone query it, but I'm not very socially or conversationally engaged these days.

Comment by Crystal on April 26, 2017 at 2:01pm

Does anybody else here have issues with talking about your spouse as if they are still with us? I can't bring myself to use my husbands name in the form of the past. I still say things like "my husband and I like...' or "ben IS a big fan of......" or "his favorite food IS...." . Is this normal?

Comment by Chum on April 26, 2017 at 6:35am

I

Comment by Jerry on April 25, 2017 at 11:40am

Take Your Time Tuesday . . .

Comment by Crystal on April 23, 2017 at 10:06pm

I've been heartbroken before, I've been through a painful divorce, my daughter moving out to be with her dad, my parents divorced, 3 surgeries and nothing hurts like the loss of spouse . Nothing. All that other stuff roled up together doesn't even compare. The loneliness. It's terrible.

Comment by Kathleen Jordan on April 23, 2017 at 9:58pm

Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have had to move in with me until the mold is out of their trailer.   they tried to go  back the other day and it really hurt.  It felt like I lost him all  over again.  normal doesn't seem to be normal yet.

Comment by Crystal on April 23, 2017 at 8:23pm

I just lost my spouse March 17th. A little over a month. It still feels surreal. I am still on meds so I'm not sure if I'm numb or in denial. People keep saying I am taking it so well. Well, they don't see what goes on when I go home. I wander around looking for things to do. I feel lost in my own space. I adopted a 2 month old puppy this week, thinking it would help my dog who was very depressed over my husbands passing, as they have spent the last 3 years together, all day, every day, as his cancer kept him from working. The puppy did help. I see a spark in my dogs eyes I hadn't seen in weeks. Which makes me feel accomplished. And ithink it'll make me feel better too, now that I have something to come home to to take care of, as my oldr dogs are very self sufficient and I have a 15 year old son
I just feel like the other shoes gonna drop and I'm gonna lose my mind. Cause I am coping ok, but I feel like it's going to get much worse.
I had to do electrical hook up stuff today and it made me miss my hisband uncontrollably, since he was so tech savvy. But I refused to ask for help, as I need to learn to do these things on my own.
The new normal
Sucks.

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