Comment

Comment by Jules on June 5, 2017 at 6:24am

Thank you Bluebell. I've started in a way to keep to myself because people don't understand what I am going through and you do see how it's uncomfortable for them when you try to talk to them about my husband. I struggle every day getting up, I know I have to because of our kids but I don't want to. And the biggest part of all of this grief I have is the questions that. Will never know. Was it quick, did he suffer, did he know I was with him and next to him when he left, is there something more after this life. Is he ok where he is and will I see him again. I know everyone asks those questions to themselves but that's where I hurt the most. I miss him so much it hurts. Thank you for letting me talk to you guys on here about my feelings.

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 4, 2017 at 9:05am

Jules

My suggestion is to come here and express your grief whether it be sadness, anger, disbelief, numbness...what ever form it takes. There is no judgement here. There is a book out there called "The Courage to Grieve" that I found helpful. Maybe try it when you are able to concentrate better.

I am not a grief counselor, but I have experienced a recent loss of a loved one. I also have been a Hospice RN for a few years. That being said, it is important for you to know you are not alone and that what you are feeling is normal. It is okay to grieve in your way and on your timeline.

Bluebell

Comment by Jules on June 4, 2017 at 7:50am

Thank you Bluebell and Elynn, I do have my parents here near by but they are seniors and it's hard. They do the best they can to be there for me! Most of my family is in NY. Everyone tries there best to be there via phone call but it's not the same. I hope the site can help me because this grief I have is overwhelming and debilitating at times. All I want is my husband back and my friends don't understand it! I'm so lost right now

Comment by Elynn m on June 3, 2017 at 10:14pm

Jules,

   I am so sorry for your loss.   Your husband was very young.   My husband was older, but I know what you mean about sudden death.   Family is important at this time.   I hope you have someone to help with the children.   It's important to have others there for us.   I'm sure you will find this site helpful.   It has been a blessing to me.

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 3, 2017 at 5:26pm

This is beyond overwhelming. I am so sorry for your loss and for the hardships it has brought on. Do you have family to give emotional support? Is there someone who can help with the children for awhile?

My heart goes out to you Jules! 

Bluebell

Comment by Jules on June 3, 2017 at 6:47am

My husband passed away suddenly at the age of 44 on April 19th of this year. He went to work and never came home. Doctors said it was sudden cardiac death! We were together for 18 years. Now I'm left to continue to raise our 3 children alone! I'm lost, broken, confused. I can't believe he is gone. I made it to the hospital right before they declared him so I was by his side when he left and I am glad I was there for him but his death has left such a hole in my heart that all I want is to be with him. He is all I've known since I'm 18 years old and all I want! Every day is a struggle to get up and the only reason I do is because of the kids otherwise I wouldn't! All I want is him and to be with him!!

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 27, 2017 at 5:59pm

iv loss wait agan i no ths tim its ovr a pet losss i no sum pelepl dnt unstdn a a cat/dog loss ulles thy hav pet dnt matr ifs nota cat/dog cud be a spyder or bugoe or so it ca n be it still kills us lk hell it can ]i no i haf lucy fr 16 yrs bt she gt be thru sum bad tims aftr my dad died she did i get ltd 2 grow up stp bean lk a kid uv 2 new cats nws well kittns u shud say 

bt lucy gt me thru sum sad momts in y if lif evn my mst darks secrts i tld her yes she wz a cat bt or huen fealinthn humn beans evr had she did she dnt tell me ay i shud feal or swer it me or tel world 2  im not goin say on hear i nt wnt no kor gilt on my ciseses i dnt 

sory cnt typ prop agan arhrts wnt let me typ sorry

Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on February 6, 2017 at 11:47am

The Mayo Clinic defines complicated grief as follows:

During the first few months after a loss, many signs and symptoms of normal grief are the same as those of complicated grief. However, while normal grief symptoms gradually start to fade over time, those of complicated grief linger or get worse. Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing.

Signs and symptoms of complicated grief may include:

• Intense sorrow and pain at the thought of your loved one
• Focus on little else but your loved one's death
• Extreme focus on reminders of the loved one or excessive avoidance of reminders
• Intense and persistent longing or pining for the deceased
• Problems accepting the death
• Numbness or detachment
• Bitterness about your loss
• Feeling that life holds no meaning or purpose
• Irritability or agitation
• Lack of trust in others
• Inability to enjoy life or think back on positive experiences with your loved one

If you are experiencing complicated grief, please contact me.  

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 27, 2017 at 5:10pm

luv ths osng dont u fogt abot me yea why shid i fogt abot pele its died wen my dad died i wz told fogrt abot foget he evrr exsit hs only yore dad or els its easy why on erth shid i foget abot my dad man i luvd if i evr get a man lk my dad i  be lplsd evn if his hrd up deprt 2 go wit me 

why shud i foget a bt pe;le its died thy imprt pele ty lvd thy died ty sufed we hear sfiin coz of loss  or i let ithapen wish i new how i let it hoapen  i do

i just wish we all hear on a gahn lk a party noy a loss/losses or a brake or holday ot loses lk evry 2 ean happy agan not way we r now no 1 gets a loss til it hapend 2 thm

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 27, 2017 at 5:06pm

http://vimeo.com/15143745

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