Comment

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 11, 2016 at 5:07pm

hi helenb my moms got alzmers lst few mth she bean abusv argesv 2wards me but its bean bad lst 2 or 3 wks but ths wks bean so ndad bad u cud say i feal a nervs wec u cud say 

she wz lovin yrs go but ths yr got bad coz of lazmers thng iv bean cald got me so kow u cud say im cryn lk a kid wen she goz ogg on 1 

evn sad evn grnd me lk kid im 41 or pusnh me lk a kid i no its ilnes 

but ths alzmers u cud say trnd her frm lovin persn 2 a monstr u cud say pls tell me im nit bean basty nasty im not juts ths ilnes feals lk a monsr or satens ilnes 

all i no i wana my ol mom bk i do but ths 1 gon relplasd by momsr ocz of ilnes 

soorrry if i sond lk a bad persn or iv carz upst 2 a persnon hear

Comment by HelenB on August 31, 2016 at 9:31pm

Note: please please reply. I don't know how to help myself but want to.

Diana & others-I wrote two long posts previously.. I'm still searching. How does one adjust to the suicide of an abusive, cruel parent? I was ingrained to love and be loyal to my mom. Im not relieved or glad she is gone, but feel like she took part of me. I loved the image I wanted her to be.

I'm an adult in the psych field, ironically. Grief counseling for a year made me feel worse. Diana & others, I feel I'd benefit from REBT, because I think my grief (while maybe traumatic/complicated/disenfranchised/unresolved) Is more an issue of ongoing Stockholm syndrome/trauma bonding W/a dead person-utterly irrational! (I don't meet criteria for any dsm dx)

I was ingrained to love my mom & did. I left home & made my own life, creating my own identity, and was resilient & completely self sufficient (despite being from a well off, educated family, I had to buy my own clothes at age 10 & I was my mom's object in public, nuisance at home, & her mom, but if I cried or needed a mom, I was punished severely). I thought I won my parents over as we grew up together.

Then, I was back in my parents' home to be near better medical care for a very serious medical condition (ending up in captivity & unable to escape back to my own home). I was isolated (and could get out) & subjected to shocking & constant fear, threats, lies, defamation to keep others away, malnutrition & dehydration even though I had my groceries delivered, neglect, emotional/physical/verbal/abuse by her, my sibling brothers (who hated my mother but manipulated her) & my once harmless dad with dementia who became violent as they agitated him (I quietly hid as much as I could). The family I was taught was most important & would always be the ppl who really loved me, didn't. They threw me scraps to confuse me.

I was the last one my mom had left (after my escape, I went back for her final overdose) at her death in the ICU. She woke up to confuse me one last time, scared & trying to make amends. I forgave her & reassured her I loved her, and we sobbed together. It was so hopelessly heartbreaking... I cry telling you this. She kept her promise and left me what she always wanted me to have. I cannot take off her wedding rings, but I don't want to think of her legacy.

I can't find literature on ongoing trauma bonds/Stockholm syndrome with a dead person, much less a BPD/NPD/sadistic parent (really it was bad). How do I break a trauma bond with a dead person? I grieve for the mom she pretended to be but she really couldn't be.

Please give me some direction. PLEASE PLEASE RESPOND. My own medical prognosis is poor. I want to find peace in the time left. Please help me. I'm begging you. I don't know if this is within your expertise, but traditional grief therapy (and the literature, albeit, it isn't my professional area of expertise) does not apply. Please help me help myself. Thank you. Sorry for any typos.

Comment by dream moon JO B on August 30, 2016 at 4:04pm

yea

i get askt u ok i lie isa y im ok

r u happy u dads ded im lk nooooooooooooooooooooo 

ru hapy pepel u mist hav gon nooooooooooooooooooooooo

why dnt u get over it????????????? no i cnt get over it thng we get told evry day

its easty 2 get ovr loss nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo its nevr easy coz lif sucs wen thy hav gon

lif bledin sucs 

or hears 1 i dnt no wot loss is im lik hellllllllllllllllllllo hav had loss non sisne 2012 its1616 still havi losss 

sorry if im rantin on 2 mush

Comment by Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong on August 30, 2016 at 2:51pm

Hi Amy Ginn,

Diana Y does counseling, but it isn't free. She is good. Below is the link so you can message her. It is also good counseling to message other members.

http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profiles/blogs/grief-counseling-s...

Comment by Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong on August 7, 2016 at 1:29pm

Britt, Denise and the others that have lost children May God Bless You if you believe. Stay Strong! l recently lost my dad, (my superman) and a close friend. It has been 9 months, yet it feels like yesterday.

Comment by Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong on August 7, 2016 at 1:22pm

Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss, I don't know exactly how you feel, I understand the emotional roller coaster that you are on. Stay brave.

Comment by Elynn m on August 4, 2016 at 6:19pm

Kelly,   I am so sorry for your loss.   No one can feel what you feel right now.   Friends don't understand (or can't imagine)losing a loved one so quickly and unexpectedly.  I feel lonely too.   I found that friends don't call as often, after the death of my husband.   That can get lonely.   I'm sure it is not intentional.   Many people are afraid, or don't want to upset me, by talking about joe.   I'm sure it is uncomfortable for them.  I've found that if I reach out to them, they are very receptive.   

 Thank you for being so brave and sharing your feeling with us.

                 God Bless.

    

Comment by Kelly on August 4, 2016 at 12:15am

My husband died suddenly on June 4, the day before my 48 birthday. He died in his sleep, in our bed. Heartbroken and crushed. I feel so very alone and have few people to talk to that understand.

Comment by Christine Clinton on August 3, 2016 at 11:03pm

On August 25th it will be three months since I lost my father. He had a brain bleed on May 17th, and on May 25th, he died. Every single day without him just doesn't seem fair. My heart is having a very hard time coming to terms and coping with the fact that my dad is gone, while my head knows that he is happy, at peace, and no longer in pain or suffering. Is there ever going to come a time where I don't feel sad all the time, or be able to look at his pictures and not feel the searing heartache? Will I ever not miss him or feel the aching emptiness? Please help. 

Comment by Britt on June 30, 2016 at 12:42am

It will be three years I lost my son, and I feel like things are getting worse. My son's death opened Pandora's box my life has never been the same. I feel alone actually I have been grieving alone. Friends and family members seem to have disappeared no one understands what I am going through. I have never ask for help from anyone, and now when I need some emotional support everyone bails. I feel like my prayers for help haven't been heard. For the first time in my life I feel lost.its hard because most of my loved ones have died, and the hardest one to deal with is the loss of my son. I'm totally devastated!

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13
• Next ›
• Page