Being the Other Woman/Other Man

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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situation

Members: 45
Latest Activity: Sep 26

Discussion Forum

It was not supposed to be like this 1 Reply

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he…Continue

Started by Kali. Last reply by Addie Sep 26.

Lost my Partner who wasn't my partner 7 Replies

I'd like to start by saying that I can't believe I found an outlet with people who've suffered similar experiences. It's comforting to know that while I may be an exception to the rule of…Continue

Started by Robin H. Last reply by Jennifer May 1.

I'm grateful I found this group 9 Replies

I have been struggling completely alone for nearly 2 years. I felt like there HAD to be others in my position out there but I had no way to find out.  I finally found a shrink who told me the term…Continue

Started by Alice Smith. Last reply by kyrs Jul 19, 2022.

Other Woman for close to 2 years ended badly

My story is rather long. I will shorten it to say that how I got myself into this situation was simply via one message to an old friend on social media kinda like a hey what have you been up to for…Continue

Started by kyrs Jul 19, 2022.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Tracey Randolph on August 7, 2015 at 6:21pm
I have also been looking for a resource and support
Comment by Peter on August 7, 2015 at 3:38pm

Is anyone still here?  There really is very little support out there.  I bought the book "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One" and there is only one paragraph in the book regarding being the other man/woman.

Comment by Cathy Richardson on March 17, 2015 at 9:34pm
Lynden -please email me at catrich1964 @gmail.com
Comment by Lynden on March 17, 2015 at 3:00pm

Is there anyone still active in this group? I am currently in this situation and finding few places to turn, and few people to turn to outside of my therapist who is paid to be nonjudgmental. I have a huge hole in my life that I have to pretend isn't there.

Comment by Ali on December 15, 2014 at 3:01pm
My names Ali, and I was the other woman to a much older man. He was my heart and soul, and I was his. His wife was seeing someone else as well, but they decided not to divorce due to their son having a disability and them not being sure if he'd understand. He passed away in January and since then I've been a mess. I can't stand being alone, and the thought of being with anyone else is complete torcher. Nobody seems to understand.
Comment by Annie M on October 16, 2014 at 1:19pm

Dave, It will be 9 months on the 21st for me and I can tell you that it does get easier.  As life goes on, and it must, I find myself thinking less about my guy and more about what I am going to do to make the most out of the rest of my life.  I'm 72 and probably don't have that many more years to do my best but every day I do try to keep busy and look for ways to be helpful to those that need help.  It isn't an easy road but one we have to travel if we want to ever be normal again.  One regret, out of many, that I have is that I wasn't more present in our relationship.  I always thought there would be more time but then all of a sudden there wasn't any more.  That relationship changed me to the core and I'll never be the same again.  Please know, Dave, that my prayers are with you to get through this a day at a time and that you come out on the other side of this a person that your lady could be proud of.  God bless and keep you, Annie M  

Comment by Annie M on August 4, 2014 at 12:48pm

Does everyone on this discussion forum know that what we are experiencing is called "disenfranchised grief"?

Comment by Cathy Richardson on February 11, 2013 at 10:06am

Thank you Melisa, he was my best friend too. We had dated when we were younger, I was 19 and he was 22 and then we broke up. We didn't see each other for 25 years but I found him and e-mailed him. The sparks were instant again between us. He was diagnosed with brain cancer one year into our relationship. I miss him every day. It's incredibly hard to grieve in silence. I cry alot in my car or at night when my husband is asleep.

Comment by Melisa C on February 11, 2013 at 10:03am

I feel for you... I haven't a lover pass away, but if you are in that situation, it must be very hard. You have to grieve alone, can't share it with anyone. I send you good energy your way and be strong.

 

Members (45)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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