Comment

Comment by Suzy on October 26, 2018 at 8:44pm

Grieving alone is the worst part, not being able to share the pain with ppl who knew him, keeping it secret. I totally relate to everything you wrote. Know there are others experiencing the same, so we're here. x

Comment by Dana on August 14, 2018 at 6:34pm

I'm sorry to hear that you're still going through a tough time, Rain. I feel like some days I'm okay and others I'm struggling. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.

Comment by Rain on August 14, 2018 at 12:30am

It's been almost two years for me. It doesn't hurt any less. Some days I push it away but then all of a sudden every bit of it hits like a ton of bricks. I did tell a few of my best friends and I mostly regret it. Now I feel it's just something to worry about and they don't understand. People only give you so long to "be sad" then they just want you to be you again. I won't ever be me again. Sometimes I don't feel like anything is real.

Comment by Dana on August 3, 2018 at 4:06pm

Thank you Krista for your thoughtful comment. I'm glad that I have a place where I can talk to my fomer lover. I don't know who to turn to, as I'm lost. I have a friend who's involved with a marry man but she has no idea what it's like when your married man passed away, no offense to her. I can't tell my friends and I sure as hell can't tell my family. I'm afraid that I'll get shamed or shunned.

I don't know what to call him. I'll call him M. I'll call him my man. One part about your comment resonated with me. You mentioned the last time you saw your man and what he said. My man told me the same thing. He's never been so happy in so many years and felt the kind of love he felt with me.

I keep those moments close to my heart and in my head. I don't want to lose them. I don't want to lose those memories of him. I'm afraid I will.

M is irreplacable. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone else like him. I wish I could though, to fill the void. I noticed it's hard for you. But what do you do on your toughest days? How do you persevere?

Comment by Dana on August 2, 2018 at 5:35pm

Is this group still around? I'm having a hard time with my loss. It's been a few months and I still miss him. I was involved with a married man who died in a sudden and horrific accident. I miss him a lot and I feel lost without him. I miss his presence. I miss being with him. I don't know where else to turn to. There aren't many groups like this around.

Comment by Darien on July 17, 2018 at 11:13pm

Hello Krista,
I'm afraid this forum isn't as active as some of us would like. I remember when I first came out here two years ago, raw with emotion. I still have times when I find myself still grieving, although it isn't as painful now as it was. I had the luxury of being able to grieve a little more openly, in that I was single, so I didn't have to keep up pretenses. I feel for you there. It's incredibly hard under the best of circumstances, and you do not have the easiest circumstances to deal with.
I know it sounds trite and unhelpful, but grief takes the time it takes. That you cannot openly grieve is more painful, but grief will not be denied its due. Depending on your age, maybe you can allow yourself to mask venting some of the emotions by claiming "hormones." Maybe take some time alone somehow to allow yourself to cry and do whatever you can to express some of what's pent up inside you.
After the worst of my grief washed through me, I found that there have been some positives come from giving in and allowing grief to have its way with me. I thought I would die too, but I came out stronger and with more clarity and purpose in living my life going forward. Every day was hard for a long time, and I still don't really have any strong emotions of happiness no matter what goes well in my life. But I do have contentment and a sense of purpose, so I hope that you gain some of that soon too.
I don't really know what else to say. I don't have all the answers. You are not alone. You have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill. You can get through this.

Comment by Monique on February 5, 2018 at 8:57am

Hi I'm new to the group as of today.  I'm not too sure what I'm doing.  My best friend, my soul mate for the past 9 years passed away unexpectedly w/cardiac arrest and aneurysm.  Dec 3rd 2017. 

He's going to have a Birthday this Thursday Feb 8th going to be 49.  I have been super depressed.  I started an antidepressant medication.  Started talking to a counselor.  (She mostly talked about herself).  I'm starting to be obsessed w/ where you go when you die.  I was brought up Catholic and I believe in Haven but I question everything now.  Every time I see someone I ask them "where do you think we go when we die"  I get various responses, from were grass food, energy and change our form, Haven but they can't not see us because Haven has no  pain and if he see's me in this much pain, he would be in pain. 

  I have an appointment with a medium on Sunday.  Some people tell me it's demonic to see a medium. 

I just want some kind of connection to him.  I want to know for a solid fact I will be with him again.  I need direction from anyone. Thx  I feel I'm going crazy.  I have all my voice mails from him the night before he passed away.  His mom knew about me and is being super supportive but also I sometimes feel it a conspiracy only so his family don't find out about me.  I get it they want to keep his reputation.

Comment by Darien on January 27, 2017 at 11:30pm

Hi Rain, I haven't seen much activity on here in a while. I try and answer people when I get a notification, but was busier than usual and didn't get out here to comment as quickly as I would have liked.

I'm here if you want to talk.

Comment by Rain on January 19, 2017 at 9:50am

Is anyone still active in this group? I have been searching for a group of this kind that understands this type of pain.

Comment by Darien on August 7, 2016 at 3:20pm

I fell hard and fast for a man I met in April of this year. He and his wife had just called it quits after 24 yrs together. For three years he tried to work things out with his wife who was having an affair. She wouldn't stop lying or cheating, so he decided to divorce. They hadn't filed yet.
He and I were only together for two months before he suddenly broke things off. We agreed to stay friends but I took three weeks away from him to process my hurt over him playing the field a little. He didn't want to get right back into another relationship and was worried about me being a rebound. I had finally decided I was over my hurt feelings and would give him a call in a few days. He died of a heart attack that night.
I never had a chance to talk to him about his reasons for the break up. I always thought that we'd talk it through and I would be able to win him back after he'd gotten done being that little boy in a candy store and the divorce was final. And now, suddenly, I'm completely devastated. I cannot accept that I'll never see, talk to, or touch him again. He was such an amazing man. How can I be this devastated in two months time? How can I be so in love with someone I barely knew?
I read through all your stories out here and see myself in most every one. The wanting something of his, the search to connect into his life somehow, wanting to reach out to his wife and children, the inability to be public about my grief or my love for him. 
Like so many of you, I find that there are no local support groups, counselors don't really seem interested in counseling this sort of grief, and I feel like an idiot even talking to friends about it. After all, he'd broken up with me, they keep saying.
I just never had time to process my feelings for him.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next ›
• Page