Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Stephanie Legge on December 27, 2011 at 6:39pm

Jodi I am so sorry you have to be part of this group.  My name is Stephanie and I lost my husband six months ago and it has not gotten any easier. I definitely know about feeling displaced because you start to question your purpose in life in fact I still do.  I am not going to tell you it gets easier but, somehow when you are ready you make it somehow tolerable.  I went back to work after three weeks so, that keeps my mind busy and I have three beautiful chihuahuas that keep me busy as well.  I am in the process of selling our home and it's not something I want to do but, I have to do because I can't drive and I have to move closer to town.  I sometimes feel like I could just get bitter but, I know my Bob wouldn't want me to do that but, he isn't here to tell me not to.  In a sense I know he is here with me I can sometimes feel him when I am totally relaxed and not upset which is very hard for me.  I am having a hard time right now because its Christmas and Bob always made Christmas special and it didn't have anything to do with presents he was my most precious gift. 

Permalink Reply by Jodi Cole on December 28, 2011 at 12:57pm

Thank you Stephanie for sharing how it is with you with me, Bill has been gone 4 wks today and adding the holidays to it didn't make it any easier. I went back to work 5 days after his passing and I found that while I was at work it didn't seem to bad because that was our usual through the week, but when I come home in the afternoon that's when lonliness sets in, because he was always here and now he's not. And to make matters worse he died here at home on the living room floor right in front of my chair, so everytime I sit there I relive that morning. Then the guilt starts and I wonder if I would have done anything different would he still be here, of course the answer is almost certain no but that doesn't help our minds. I find the worse times for me are when I'm home, and that's funny because home is where you should be most relaxed, but no one comes here so I'm here alone all the time. I to have my two dogs I have a minature dachshund and a regular sized dachshund and they are my girls, they make me laugh and somehow get through things.

Permalink Reply by Stephanie Legge on December 28, 2011 at 6:50pm

My Bob died at home as well and I was just downstairs and I too have gone through bouts of if I had come upstairs sooner would it be different. I find comfort in going to work because I work with some amazing women and it keeps my mind busy and yes, when I get home it's quiet without him.  I've gotten into the routine of leaving the television on and I bought one of those lamp timers so, I don't come home to a dark and lonely place.  I have prayed for guidance because I don't understand why things like this happen to such wonderful people but, my questions go unanswered.  If I didn't have my chihuahuas I don't know what I would have done. 

Permalink Reply by Blue Bird on February 23, 2012 at 12:31pm

Hi Jodi,  I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I lost my spouse in 2008 and we were together for 34 yrs and did everything together.  I can say the grief does get better with time but I am still so lonely and miss him terribly and miss all those things couples do together.  I too want my husband back but that is not possible.  Put all your faith into God, He is in control.  I know it doesn't feel like it but HE is.  Take one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.  I still cry everyday.  God bless you.

Reenie