My grandpa died 11 years ago

It is still hard after 11 years since my grandpa passed away. I finally came to a peace and accepting place about his death just this year while my grandma was dying from cancer. My heart aches for both of them but more for her right now. I am still at peace about loosing him even though I am going through the grieving process again. My only fear is of going back to a deep dark place of major depression that I had after his death. I slept the days away and had an emotional melt down at my job so I quit it by walking out one day that I just couldn't handle it anymore. Loss of a loved one is hard and so is life in general but after 11 years I am at a place where I can still live and not just quit on my own life even thought recently like today has been really rough. I had to leave work today after only being there an hour because I was so terribly broken up. This is the first time I have had to do this since she passed a month ago. I truly thought I wouldn't have to use my FMLA for this but that is just not the case! Peace and blessings to all!

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Permalink Reply by Robin Nicole Pena on April 19, 2011 at 8:16pm
wow. yeah i lost my mom 2 and a half years ago and I still have problems. sometimes i dont like to talk about it, because i feel like i sound redundant, and after a while people dont really know what to say. I miss her everyday, and I cant hel but think that my life would be different if she were still here, but i know thats selfish. she was very sick and it was just her time. I'm glad that shes in a better place and that she doesnt have to suffer anymore, but it just hurts so much. she was my best friend, and my whole world. not only that but I was 22 years old when I lost her so it feels even worse because i come across situations in my everyday life, where I want her to be there for comfort, and i just wanna smell her and i want her to hold me. but she was strong, so i have to be strong too. and i have to be able to deal with stuff on my own, an with the help of friends an family.

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