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Comment by anne on June 26, 2013 at 5:59pm

That's amazing! Last summer two beautiful yellow finches flew into my window and fell to the ground. At the time I was down in the dumps, and my daughter and grandchildren had just moved away. I heard the birds hit the window and when I looked out it I cried. They weren't moving. So I grabbed a box tears flowing like water and went out to them. when I got there one flew into the tree in the front yard and I picked the other one up and cried. I figured he was probably knocked silly so I put him down on the front steps, and he sat there for a while as I watched him I saw the other bird in the tree. It was like he was waiting for the other. I really thought for a minute they are my boys checking up on me. My heart filled with joy! After I smiled the other little bird that was stunned flew up into the tree with his brother. I ried like a baby, but not tears of sadness, tears of joy that my heart got an a-ok from my sons. I don't know much about religion or how things work, but I do know what my heart tells me whether they are believable or not to others I believe!

Comment by dream moon JO B on June 26, 2013 at 3:48pm

today i saw som pigns thr woz a lot of thm thy all fkew in to a shap of a angel dont no if its a sine or any thng 

i nealy got my self run ovr by watchng thm i wisht i took a foto of thm but i woz to bizy watchn thm

u cud say i woz away wih th pixie watchn thm lik most tim u cud sy im away wh th pixxiesst  

Comment by Michelle H on June 25, 2013 at 1:19pm

Marilyn, since my son Chris died, I have seen 2 seagulls fly over the backyard, one fly over a place I call my sanctuary (á small stream near a walking path in my subdivision), one fly past my car at Walmart (that one after asking Chris to let me see another one); I saw a turtle stopped on the path near my sanctuary. At home I heard flute music (no radio or tv was on) and the Notre Dame fight song (he graduated from ND); a clock play music weeks after I set it to NOT play music, and some other unusual and unexplained occurrences. I don't think these things are coincidences.

Comment by A. Buyten on June 24, 2013 at 7:38pm

Hi, it has been a bit more than 2 yrs. since my love has passed. I haven't sought books to cope. I'm wondering if anyone has tried hypnosis. I scheduled an appointment because I get severe anxiety attacks (got to find some relief that is non prescription) that disable me from doing anything. I miss my babe soo much! If anyone has tried this please let me know, thanks. I will get back here after I get my hypnotherapy session to let you all know of my experience.

Comment by Tabitha McKendry on June 24, 2013 at 10:20am

I have read several books on "coping strategies" and ways to get through the grief process, but none of them really helped. I came to the conclusion that it is due to the fact that each person deals on a different level. No two people grieve the same way or at the same points in their lives. There is no way a book can "self help" you through this stuff.  Still "going through the motions" in my own life and Daddy has been gone 5 years now.  The most difficult part is not being able to have the same relationship with my mom now that he is gone. We don't talk about the elephant in the room..........and that just supresses my emotions!!

 

Comment by anne on June 23, 2013 at 11:23pm

Also you learn that sometimes you can catch it before it becomes uncontrollable when you have a few coping skills under your belt.

Comment by anne on June 23, 2013 at 11:20pm

Hey Dennis that's good advice! Not a good idea to make big decisions when you r grieving. I learned that the hard way. Also learning coping skills saved my life and the life of my family. I use them every day, and on the days when nothing works, I try to just breathe through it and be patient for the next day. There's no quick fix for grief, but as time goes on I learn different ways to cope and add them to my list. Sometimes though people hurt so bad that it's hard to control. I do believe though that with coping skills the really bad days get farther apart and that's a good thing!

Comment by Dennis C. on June 21, 2013 at 8:06am

To "Someone"

Please know that your feelings are normal. Although not accurate.

We all go through such a variety of emotions when we lose a loved one.

Anger, guilt, frustration, desperation, etc.

The key to surviving these issues is to not react or come to conclusions, or even make major decisions during this process.

Also, to change how we feel we MUST change how we think. This is a conscious effort on our part.

It is called developing skills to cope. Hopefully this can help you move forward

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on June 21, 2013 at 7:14am

To the person who lost their father on May 2nd.  I am so sorry for your loss and the struggles you are having.  Please don't blame yourself for your father getting sick.  You mentioned that the hotel was damp and old so your father was exposed to that condition also.  Doctors aren't always right and maybe he didn't get sick from you or maybe he wasn't back to 100%, you don't know for sure.  I look at you making the trip with your parents as a blessing to spend time with them.  You moving back home may also be a blessing not a hardship on them.  You all got to spend more time together and that is a good thing.  Please don't look at yourself as a failure to your parents.  We all have problems and failures in life.  I'm sure your parents are proud of you for many things.  If being happily married, having children and a good paying job are requirements to have proud parents then I am a failure too.  Try to think of the things you have done or accomplished.  I believe it is all in how we look at things and you need to look for the positive and good.  And they is no shame in getting help to cope with your grief.  I have been going to therapy for about 3 months and it has made a big difference.  I lost my father unexpectedly in Sept 2012.  We are all hear to listen and provide you with support.  Take care and God Bless.

Comment by Patricia Hoffman on June 20, 2013 at 9:48pm

It was not at all your fault. read more of these posts...prayers

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