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Comment by Danny on December 20, 2013 at 7:08pm

Indeed a trauma specialist would be good and it is the same for me i.e. if I could afford someone.  So I did some counseling with my regular doctor and he is monitoring me.  The physical effects are still there but not as strong as in June.  I also did a lot of self-work through the Web on how to deal with sudden/traumatic.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 19, 2013 at 3:33pm

me 2 rachel dreding xmas lk lst yr im exspctng anr verbul abus hme brutl truths again tht im 2 blme fr evry thng so on 

gtng told i shud get ovr it wish i cnt no 1 cn get over lozng loved 1s i no u cn pic yore frinds bt u cnt pic yore famly u cnt 

sorrry i fim rant a bit 2 mush

jo

Comment by Danny on December 19, 2013 at 3:21pm

The thing is Dolly/Rachel that sudden is very traumatic and it is a huge shock.  So just take it as easy as you can, this is a rough time.  My parents always tell me that real friends are rare.  But the people also do not know what to say and sound cruel at times but they are inexperienced in these matters.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on December 19, 2013 at 1:59pm

im dreading the holidays too as I see in one of these posts, but I'm also trying to enjoy it as much as I can....my mother died December 8, so around Christmas, so its a hard time of year....but I will be ok, just hope my health improves

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on December 19, 2013 at 1:58pm

I am having trouble and still struggling with how my mom died, she was healthy and went in for a simple operation, they found cancer, and she developed an infection that they couldnt cure...she died within two weeks so suddenly....its hard for me to accept what happened whenI think about it....its just such a hard thing.....I hope you all are well and seeking treatment if you need help with your grief, and this site helps somuch!!

Comment by Lee Evans on December 19, 2013 at 4:06am

Missy,

About what your friend said, I do not know the full conversation but I do know that when we are in so much deep emotional pain, we can take things out of context. 35 Years friendship is a long time. Perhaps your friend meant to give you some hope that you still have 5 beautiful children who need you. Perhaps she did not put down your parenting skills, perhaps she was trying her best to give you some comfort. It is not easy to support people who have lost someone near and dear to them. Your friend is human. Do not let go of a 35 year friendship on a comment that may have been meant well. Talk with your friend and clear it up. You need her and she needs you. Give time for your emotions to settle with what she said and then think about it. Sorry for interfering but I had to say something, if nothing but to heal and save your friendship. Your pain is real, you cannot get over it,  do not see that she said that, I do not know her tone when she said it, was she gentle, did she yell at you, did she mock you, did she tell you you were being ridiculous. I see your friend lost her mom, painful. She also has her pain. Be friends to one another. You both need each other. Do not let that love go, talk, hug, love and forgive. I lost my best friend and I am broken.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 18, 2013 at 4:14pm

thnx dawn sorrry abt yore loss sory for evry 1s loss

dolly i luv thm pics of brandon he is so cute he is

Comment by Amber Dunnett on December 18, 2013 at 12:53am

Missy, you want talk please inbox me I have been some the same things .

Comment by Michelle H on December 17, 2013 at 9:58pm

Missy, unfortunately, we all have experienced the tremendous ignorance--and downright cruelty--of people we thought would be the most compassionate to us. I'm sorry that your friend said that to you. I can't imagine how she thought that could even be remotely helpful to you.

Comment by Danny on December 17, 2013 at 6:31pm

indeed dolly

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