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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Sandra LaBonte on June 6, 2011 at 2:54pm
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Kelli
Comment by Kelli C. on June 6, 2011 at 9:46am

Hello Everyone,

I am a new member and I just wanted to say to all of you that I am so sorry for your loss and I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.  Losing someone is such a hard thing to deal with and I can't help but feel so alone.  I am glad that I found somewhere that I know there will be some support.

My brother died in a fire in March and we are all just so devastated.  We know that he died while trying to help another family member out of the house.  Thankfully our family member was saved, but he was terribly burned and will have to go through a very long recovery.   I just can't stop reliving what my brother must have gone through and it tears me up inside to know that he died so painfully.  I can't sleep well. I think about him all of the time and I can't make it through a day, let alone a few hours without crying.  I know it takes time, and even though I am an adult, I just feel so lost without my big brother.  

 

Comment by anne on June 5, 2011 at 11:29pm
Through the years I have decided that it can only destroy me if I let it. I cant control whats already happened but I can do my best to survive.Sometimes my best is not enough and sometimes I dont feel like doing my best but I just do what I can to survive.My sons loved life and I know they loved me so I just keep telling myself that my survival is a great tribute to their lives. I have come to the conclusion that this is never going to be easy,and the sadness and want for them will always be there so my only solution is to handle this nonsense the best I can on the days that I can.On the days that I cant it's always different and in different flares so I never really know what will happen,but when they happen I just try to go with the flow and what will be will be.I've been living this way for a long time so for me the greif gets less heavy but the sadness lingers. I have found that dealing with this my way is the only way to survive as long as I dont let thoughts of giving up win me over. when my emotional mind takes over and puts me in despair I give myself time to allow my rational mind to go back to taking over. My rational mind hasn't let me down yet. For all of us having to live this way I pray for strength,comfort, and enough momments of peace to survive.
Comment by Karen R. on June 5, 2011 at 10:34pm
Greetings Annette, I am so sorry about your tremendous loss. I did not lose a spouse/partner but i did lose my son, so I can imagine the pain you are in. Sometime life just seems so unfair. There will NEVER be an acceptable reason why these things happen. Please keep writing, trust me, it makes a difference to have your feelings validated because we all, unfortunately, understand. I hope that the person that is responsible for robbing him of his life is held accountable. Once again I am very sorry. Always speak about him and remember that no one can tell you how to grieve. Was he old enough to have any children if you dont mine me asking?
Comment by Annette on June 5, 2011 at 9:50pm

Karen,

I know exactly what you're talking about because I feel the same way most of the time.  I'm still in shock and it's been months.  Its hard to accept, and I am still in denial.  I too feel like what did I do to deserve this because why did this have to happen to me...to us...and in a way has destroyed my faith because I can't understand why...none of this makes sense, and I am broken as well.  When my fiance was taken from me, I feel like he took a part of me with him...I feel I will never be whole or complete again...

Comment by Annette on June 5, 2011 at 9:45pm
Hi my name is Annette and I am new to this site as well as this group...My counselor suggested that I speak to others that are going through the same thing that I am so that I can get some sort of release and comfort talking to others.  On the 11th of this month will make 8 months since my boyfriend was murdered in front of me by someone we didn't know.  I am having a hard time coping with it.  I still have nightmares of him getting killed over and over, and when it first happened I was able to look at all of our pictures but wasn't able to talk about it, but now I am able to talk about it but I can't even bare to look at our pictures anymore, I break down.  I don't know what to do or how to deal with this at all.  I still have a hard time accepting the fact that he is gone and for almost a week after it happened I couldn't go to sleep because I knew that when I'd wake up, he wouldn't be there...I still have trouble sleeping and often an up at all hours because I can't sleep.  I don't know what to do.
Comment by marlene lovell on June 3, 2011 at 9:11pm
BROKEN is the perfect word to describe all this we go thru!!!
Comment by Karen R. on June 3, 2011 at 7:13pm
Greetings Farida, you are right, I am definately still in shock. There are many days that I feel like I can't go on like this. I use to enjoy life now I feel like this life has been so cruel. None of it makes any sense to me. I hurt for everyone that is experiencing such tremendous grief. This type of experience can definately weaken if not totally destroy someone's faith. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished and some days I have a tremendous amount of guilt. My son asked me several times if he could drive my car and I told him no, I didn't know that he would ride his friend's motorcycle and be robbed of his young life. I know that people are killed in car accidents also but I guess I feel like he had no chance of any protection on a motorcycle. There is a sinking hole in my heart that will never be filled again, I literally feel heart broken, that's the perfect word to describe me.......BROKEN.
Comment by farida narain on June 3, 2011 at 6:36pm
Hi Everyone, I just want to let all of you know that  we are all hurting the same horrible way.  There's no end to it and we try as long as possible to be in the denying stage.  We're still in shock and trauma.  Life is so fickle and fragile and we feel so cheated.  But we have no choice since we're left behind we have to keep going until we're finished with the purpose we're here on earth for.  We will forever miss our loved ones.  God Bless all of you.
Comment by Karen R. on June 3, 2011 at 4:40pm
Hey Pam, you are not alone. I cry everyday still, i dont think my tears will ever stop. I was soooo angry today......more than usual, a lady asked me did I get "OVER" losing my son yet!!!!!!! I could not believe her. I just yelled "excuse you, would you ever get "OVER" your son?!!!!!!!" I told her this is not an illness, this is my child for goodness sake. She looked pitifully sorry afterwards. Some people just dont think before they open their mouth but I believe she will from now on.
 

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Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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