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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Felicia Evans on December 9, 2015 at 6:42am
I am so sorry for your loss Tabitha. You are so right. Losing a partner or spouse is different than losing someone else. My brother lost his wife three years ago. He tried to explain how he felt and we were there for him. But he kept saying we didn't understand. He said he felt lost. He was was trying to be strong but I could see the pain behind the mask he put on. He is doing better now. Somehow he was able to open his heart again and find love. He told us he'll never be the same after his loss. He married a couple of weekends ago. He seems happy and I'm happy for him.
Comment by joanne on December 9, 2015 at 5:05am

Tabitha im so very very sorry for your loss and send you big hugs, im 5 months into my loss and I too have a young child shes 9 which makes it 1 millon times harder, I struggle daily it's a constant nightmare but we have to keep going for our children , its all we can do , I am so grateful to have found this site everyone just seems so understanding and kind and we all need kindness xx thinking of you amd your son xxxx

Comment by Tabitha on December 8, 2015 at 9:55pm
I lost my fiancé on Saturday. We didn't expect it, though he wasn't in great health. Nobody thought he would die. He was on a ventilator but he asked to be put on it for breathing problems. After six days of sedation on the ventilator, his heart stopped. The doctors tried for two hours to revive him.

I'm lost. I'm missing my soul mate. I can't stop crying over little things. I've never felt as loved as he made me feel. I talk to him all day and of course don't get an answer.

My son, who is five, doesn't really understand. He said I should die too and find my fiancé in heaven so I wouldn't be sad. My heart already feels pretty dead except for the pain. But I have to hang in there for my little boy.

I need people to talk to. My network of friends and family are there for me but most of them seem to need comforting and aren't offering much in support. They say "I'm here if you need someone to talk to" and then I end up listening to their grief. I don't think people understand that losing a partner is different than losing someone else. You carefully choose that person and cultivate love and passion with them. It's very different than when I lost my grandpa five years ago and my grandmother four years ago.

I guess that's all I can say for now.
Comment by Shraddha on November 22, 2015 at 7:43am
Thanks Danny...
Comment by Danny on November 22, 2015 at 7:26am

shraddha

just take it day to day and seek urgent help from the hospital if you feel dizzy

best

danny

Comment by Danny on November 22, 2015 at 7:09am

2 yrs ince the sudden loss for me an each day has been tough but my main support is still looking after me.. sudden is the worst

Comment by Shraddha on November 22, 2015 at 6:49am
I lost my dad on 9th Nov 2015....to a sudden cardiac arrest..... I hv never felt so lonely n so vulnerable before..... Ma dad was my pillar of strength.... It just seems so unreal....tat I might wake up frm this dream someday..... I miss him so much....
Comment by Doris Jane Franklin on November 19, 2015 at 8:01am

At 8:oo AM on September 30th I was a wife starting breakfast. At 8:15 I was a widow. My husband died of a sudden, massive, heart attack right before my eyes. It was so fast we didn't have time to say goodbye. 38 years of shared love and history all wiped out in seconds. I can't get past that day to access the wonderful memories we shared, when I think of him all I see is the look on his face when he died and left me. 

Comment by Felicia on November 7, 2015 at 12:20am

II will never forget how beautiful and clear blue the sky was on two particular days in my life: Sept. 11, 2001, that terrible day, and on April 10, 2010. On that April day my mom and I took my step dad to the ER early that morning because he's had a lingering case of bronchitis. While she and I were in the waiting room, we were talking and laughing over something we read in a magazine. As we left the hospital we went through the drive thru at McDonalds, and while waiting for our order we marvelled, the three of us, at how lovely the sky was that day. Later, mom asked me if I would take her shopping at the mall. I told her to wait until the next day as I was going to spend the afternoon preparing food for a wedding shower the next day. I told her we would go after the shower. She looked a bit disappointed, but agreed. The next morning I had just jumped in the shower when my cell phone rang. It was a family friend informing me to get to the hospital asap, that my mom was in bad shape. I broke every traffic law and got there in a few minutes. My mom was lying on the bed when I walked in. Her eyes were closed but she responded when I called her name. The doctor informed me out in the hall that she was hemorrhaging in the brain, and that she was already blind from it. With tears in my eyes, I walked back in and said, Mommy, do you hurt anywhere? She said "I have a bad headache here", and pointed to her forehead. She spoke to us off and on thru the day. Docs gave us hope that she might pull thru, but by that night she was in a coma. I awoke early the next morning to gurgling sounds and the doc asking me if I wanted to put her on life support. Before I could even make a decision, a nurse without sad eyes told me " Your mom has died." I crumpled to the floor. In the grief stricken days that followed, I remembered that last sunny day we had and wondered why I hadn't just spent the whole day with her, took her shopping instead of preparing food for a wedding shower for two people I barely knew? There's so many, many regrets. I miss her so much! She was so beautiful both inside and out. My lovely mommy with her auburn hair and dancing dark eyes. There had only been a very few days in my life that we had not seen each other or spoken on the phone. When I married, she made me promise that we would always live near each other and my husband and I kept that promise. I was her only child, and she will always be my wonderful mom. I want to see her so bad, hug her. Its a terrible feeling when they are here one day and just gone the next.

Comment by Kathryn Epperson on November 4, 2015 at 6:39pm

I lost my 29 year old son on Sept 28, 2015.  We still don't know why - the coroner is waiting for toxicology to come back.  All I know is that he was fine and then he died in his bed.  This is the worse pain I have ever known and it just gets worse with each passing day.  I have 3 other kids that I love dearly but I just want to be with my son.  I feel like my life is over, and it is.  Life as I knew it before.  Now I have to somehow get thru the rest of my life..........I just want to be gone.

 

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