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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Jim Eginoire on June 11, 2011 at 1:40am

Monday will be the 24th anniversary of our wedding day.  I still can't believe she's gone.

Thank you God for carrying me through the past 8 months.  

Comment by Annette on June 10, 2011 at 6:50pm

Semary,

Thank you.  Only for 6 months but we had known each other since high school so we had known each other for 13 years.  I am sorry for your loss as well, and that you had to discover your husband's body.

Comment by Semary Rose on June 10, 2011 at 6:48pm

Annette,  I am so sorry for you having to witness your fiance's murder.  How long were you engaged?  That had to be unbearable.  I know my discovery of my husband's lifeless body was absolutely horrific.

Delilah, I am sorry you lost your gran.

Comment by Stacy Ballard on June 10, 2011 at 8:37am

Like many of you on here, I lost my beloved dad suddenly, a year ago. After his death our family has endured a loss of my cousin at the age of 52, a neighbor, age 49 just a few days after my dad, and now our family pet of 13 + years. I know we are all sad and the grief really never goes away. In fact for me, it comes and goes with no pattern. I struggle daily to remain a professional at work, great mom, wife etc. I guess my thought to death, such as what we have all had to deal with is that it can only make us stronger in life. I try to always remember that life is so precious. Cherish everyone you love daily. Try to find the strength to go on daily by knowing you are stronger because you loved and lost them. God bless you all.  

Comment by Dylan Ishmael on June 9, 2011 at 11:10pm

I started this blog to express the trauma I feel at losing my mom this January: http://spiritspout.blogspot.com/

Today I lost my grandma, too, albeit in a completely different way.  While Mom was young and her death was totally unexpected, Gran was old and her death was expected. 

Trauma is real.

Comment by Annette on June 9, 2011 at 10:23pm
Semary,
It sounds like we have similar problems...After I witnessed my fiancé get murdered I was able to look at pictures and it helped but I couldn't speak about what happened...on the 11th it will make it 8 months since he passed and now I can talk about what happened but I can't bare look at the pictures...it hurts too much and I have crying spells at times...just like you kept certain things like his colone I did as well and thought I was the only one who kept thing and would so the same as you...I just recently started seeing a counselor since they diagnosed me with post traumatic stres syndrome but she told me keeping a journal helps with grief and maybe it could help you as well..Sorry about your loss.
Comment by Semary Rose on June 9, 2011 at 9:44pm
Mercy, I have a more reservative approach to my husband's death, too.  I can hardly look at pictures.  I kept his can of snuff and Eternity cologne and I can every now and then take a quick sniff and be saddened at once.  The talking about our loved ones is usually regarded as comforting, but I find it to be too much to bear sometimes.  I miss him so much, but my grief is so complicated. 
Comment by mercy on June 9, 2011 at 1:06pm
Having experienced the death of my loving brother and sweet mom in the last year (mom just a few days ago); I can tell you that I can well relate to the people who don't want to mention your loved ones name. I can assure you, its not that they don't love or care about these person; its just too painful. For ten months I could not even utter my brothers names, look at his pictures or read anything he had ever written. All these things are just reminders that he is no longer here with us and its just too much for me to digest. My mom died in the last few days and I'm totally faling apart inside but I forbid anyone from mentioning her or reminding me of her. I lost two other brothers and my dad and its been years since I mentioned their names or looked at their pictures. I even refuse to go to our family home since it just reminds me of my loss. I love my family very much and with every loss its like a part of me dies; I feel fractured and will never be at peace until I see them again. We all grieve differently; I would be sad if anyone judged my way of grieving as a lack of concern. Your co-workers may refuse to bring up his name since they feel they may upset you by reminding you of the loss. I hope my insight can give you an understanding of their actions. I pray we all find peace on this journey.
Comment by marlene lovell on June 8, 2011 at 9:23pm
Dear Sandra, Thank you for your reply and my thoughts are with you on your loss of your daughter. I, too, would give anything to hold my husbands hand again or just tell him I love him.
Comment by Sandra LaBonte on June 8, 2011 at 6:41pm
Marlene, I don't know if it's common but I feel the same way. It took my daughter 2 days to progress to brain death. Sometimes I felt like I just had to get out of the room and get some air. Now I wish with all my heart that I had just sat there and held her hand the whole time. I would give anything just to hold her hand again. I am very sorry for your loss.
 

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

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