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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by mercy on June 14, 2011 at 5:10pm
Thank you sweet Rachel. I have some bad days and good days. Yesterday was especially bad. It hits me sometimes and I feel like I'm out of breath. I'm so sorry about your mom; I know all the thoughts going through your mind; wondering if things would have turned out differently if they found it earlier. I myself wonder if we chose the right therapy for my mom. We had three options and as a family, we were divided. They chose the option me and my two sibblings decided on. Now I have to live with the thought that it may have been the wrong option. I really appreciate you being there for me. I've not gone for therapy but I'm looking for a griefshare that will work with my schedule. Thanks for your prayers, its been so hard for me to pray as I have been angry at God about what He's put our family through. Bless you Rachel and peace be to you.
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 14, 2011 at 2:13am
mercy, hang in there, you can go on and you will find joy again, your heart needs to heal and it takes some time....anytime you need to talk, dont hesitate to contact me, any of us....again we are here
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 14, 2011 at 2:11am
mercy i hope you find peace....you have been through so much, and you can go on, but with all you have been through, its very difficult....may I ask if you have sought any therapy at all?  I'm just thinking it might help you, it has helped me, even though I have not had as many losses at a time....suicide is not the answer, even though I feel and know your pain hun....we care about you, you will be ok....I'm praying for you.....I have joined this group because, I lost my mother, albeit last year, to cancer, and it was sudden because she was healthy....she went in for a simple surgery for something else and they found all this cancer in her....when they opened her up it must have advanced the cancer, which I have heard can happen to people....two weeks later she was gone, I still cant believe it all....I have come to accept, but I miss her so, and I try not to go there....mercy, please hang in there hun, there are other options to deal with this and we are here....
Comment by Semary Rose on June 13, 2011 at 9:45pm
I am angry too, Mercy.  My anger is that my husband's mother had all three of her children die (one by vehicle, one by cancer, and my husband by heart attack).  We used to sit around and be so thankful that my mother-in-law had my husband.  He is what they used to call a "menopausal baby"--she was 36  when she had him and his siblings were several years older.  But why did she have to suffer his death?  It is not fair.  He took care of her daily--she is 84.  I think my husband thought that lightening could not strike 3 times.  I thought that too.  How wrong we were.  Now I am paranoid that I am going to have the same "luck" that my mother in law had.  Losing her husband, her children.  I am so micro managing my kids and my own mother now.  I basically held a mirror up to my mom's mouth the other day to ensure that lightening did not strike me twice while she was sleeping.  I could not fathom losing more than one person in my life in such a short time.  Sorry this was a long comment.  I should have made it a discussion, but it haunts me...I can't bear anymore losses.  I am only 38.
Comment by Karen R. on June 13, 2011 at 8:42pm
Greetings Pattie, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. I am still suffering from the tragic loss of my 21yr old son. There is no pain that can match this. I and others, I'm sure will always be willing to listen, so sorry.
Comment by Karen R. on June 13, 2011 at 8:33pm
Greetings to all, we all all grieve so differently and some, the same. There are no "laws" how we should grieve or for how long. I still think that it is helpful that we can validate everyone's feelings. Look at me........I need to hear my son's name and I need to hear people talk about him but its difficult for me to look in his scrap book or look at his clothes and who knows, that could all change and that's ok. I still just wish I could go to sleep and wake up and this would all be some big mistake and I would see my son sitting at the computer or going in the fridge. I hurt for everyone's losses.
Comment by Annette Dominguez on June 13, 2011 at 3:54pm
It has been 5 1/2 months now since my husband died. I miss him so much. I still cry almost every day. I feel so lost and like I am just bouncing like a buoy on the ocean. I want him to walk in the door and give me a hug like he used to. It is getting easier day by day but still not all the way through. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and am so thankful that God is carrying me.
Comment by mercy on June 13, 2011 at 3:29pm
My mom was my whole life; two weeks ago; she went to be with the Lord. I’ve been so mad since I live in another country and we all had plans for a great family reunion in December. I feel like everything takes so much effort these days. Mom had promised me she would be ok, God had other plans. I had prayer so hard to have another reunion with mom before she died, this was not to be. I lost my 43 year old brother one year ago, one day he was fine, the next he was gone. The grief crippled my whole family. Before I came to terms with his death, mom died. How I’m I supposed to move on? I hate waking up every morning, I hate that God is keeping me here as punishment. I’ve contemplated suicide but I don’t know an effective way to kill myself. I hate everything that makes life here on earth. I don’t know if I can face another day, I’m researching people who die of a broken heart, hoping this will be my ticket out of this world. I can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry to be so down, but I know you totally understand what I’m going through.
Comment by marlene lovell on June 12, 2011 at 8:41pm
Today John and I would have ben together for 17 years........all those years it was just he and I..there for each other in this harsh and unforgiving world....now it is only me.
Comment by Bonnie Cassell on June 12, 2011 at 2:18pm

I dont know what is going on, 3 weeks ago I was crying all the time. Now that I am just journaling to my son. I wake up happy. And I feel guilty. I sometimes think of him hanging in the closet . That is not very offten anymore. What is up with being happy.

 

 

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
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Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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