Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by tammi sue maczorowski on February 16, 2011 at 6:14pm

im so sorry for your loss.  my husband died 4 months ago. it was an accidental overdose. but i still can't understand why he took the pills he did. he was in physical pain, and got addicted to perscription drugs. but was also depressed.  i know that you probably are still in shock. i know it has got to be so hard.  after four months it still is painful. expecially we have 3 young kids. but the pain is starting to be less. so i hope that is some comfort for you. i also have a strong faith. i will pray for you through this time tammi

Permalink Reply by Sean Casey on February 16, 2011 at 7:32pm

Thanks, Tami.  I'm pretty sure I'm still dealing with the shock, though I'm at least starting to feel a little more functional.  Some tasks don't seem almost overwhelmingly confusing and hard to deal with, so that's something.  I'm glad to hear your own pain is starting to lessen, too.  It gives me some hope for things improving in time.  Faith's been one of the things carrying me through this time, and I'm a firm believer in the value of prayer.  I'll do the same for you 'n' yours.

 

Again, thanks.

Permalink Reply by tammi sue maczorowski on February 17, 2011 at 10:19am

keep strong. this is a support group in vite friends. it really helps me. and it will you. can i ask did you have any kids. just wanted to know. it is painful im surprised you are doing as well as you are. i was a mess. and i still am some days. it is nice to talk to spouces. because they understand more of what im going through, and expecially a sudden loss. my husband was depressed too. even though his overdose was an accident. i think he did the pills because he was depressed . take care tammi

Permalink Reply by Sean Casey on February 18, 2011 at 6:21pm

No, we didn't have any kids.  She'd had a daughter before we got married that she put up for adoption.  After that, she just wasn't interested in having any more.

I'll take your word for it that I'm doing well.  I can't say it really feels like it at the moment.  I'm still jsut breathing and handling one thing at a time.  As I've told some friends and family, my goal right now is to get to where I can handle one DAY at a time.  When I get there....well....I'll figure out more then.

It does help to talk to spouses.  I know others care and want to help, but there is that extra level of understanding I don't think most other folks have.

Thanks, Tammi.

Permalink Reply by tammi sue maczorowski on February 19, 2011 at 12:17pm

i can't say it's easy. im sure you have alot of questions left unanwered. that you are probably wondering why?  you might be experiencing some guilt, like you wish you could of saved her. or known what you could have done. the reason im thinking this is because im still going through this. i have so many questions. my husband died upstairs in my daughters bed were he was sleeping. i checked on him the night before. his pulse, respirations. i knew something was not ok . he was hallucinating. but i thought he was ok. i keep beating myself up. but i tried to help him. i begged him to get help. but when it comes down to it. it is everyone choice. he chose to take the pills. he was in pain but his addiction just was so bad.  how old was your wife? jeremy was 32. we were twelve years apart im 44. but we blended well together. age does not matter. im sorry you have to go through this. i wish none of us had too. praying for you tammi

 

Permalink Reply by Sean Casey on February 19, 2011 at 1:37pm

Yeah, that's one of the hardest things.  All the questions that will most likely never get answered.  Ariel wasn't all that sentimental, so the hope of finding any kind of note or anything explaining it is pretty much a pipe dream.  Not that I wouldn't want to find one, but the reality is it's likely not going to happen.  One thing that I've come back to is the idea that even if I'd done something different to forestall things this time, there's no way to know she wouldn't have killed herself a week or a month later.   I think when someone's that intent on dying, the pain and suffering they're in put blinders on them so bad that any one thing isn't real likely to make things change for the better, at least not long-term.

She was 45, about 4.5 years older than I am.  And, yeah, age really doesn't matter much after a point.

Praying for you, too.  Thanks.

Permalink Reply by Kandi Broussard on February 18, 2011 at 3:52pm

Sean, I am so terribly sorry.

Permalink Reply by Sean Casey on February 18, 2011 at 6:15pm

Thank you.  This has been a terrible shock.  I think I'm still dealing with that some, and there's going to be a LOT more to come in the weeks and months ahead.  That's part of why I wanted to go ahead and sign up here.  I know I'm going to need the support.

Permalink Reply by Kandi Broussard on February 18, 2011 at 8:26pm

I was still in the "shock" stage until about a month ago.  My mom was murdered 6 months ago.  I am, now, in a very severe depression stage and I must tell you that this stage has been MUCH harder than the first one.  My whole life is just out of control right now.  I don't know if your greiving and mine are similar but I really am so sorry that you are going through something so horrible.

Permalink Reply by Sean Casey on February 18, 2011 at 10:19pm

Lord, I'm sorry to hear that.  I'd believe the depression's harder.  Then again, I think that each of the stages we go through have their challenges to them.  And I doubt any of them are easy.

 

If nothing else, I reckon they're similar enough in regard to suddenly losing someone important and special to us.  I'm sorry we're both having to go through this.