Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on May 5, 2014 at 1:10pm

I am a gay man and I loved my partner for 47 years since college and He died 11/2/2012 .Now i am getting better and I cry less but talk to God and he will help,Talk with him daily very often.Sometimes he does not answer right away Stanley

Permalink Reply by Debra A. Whitemaine on May 6, 2014 at 11:20am

Hi Ross,

I am very sorry for your loss.  I can only imagine what you are going thru.  And what a terrible way to find out she had passed, I am so sorry.  Hang onto your memories and grieve in your own way.  What ever makes you feel good and works for you.  There is no right or wrong way and no time limit.  I lost my father suddenly and it helped me to seek counseling.  My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Debbie C on May 6, 2014 at 1:24pm

I understand what you are going through.My husband died suddenly 1/5/13.That first year was the worst year of my life.It does seem to get easier so hang in there .I am young also 57

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on May 6, 2014 at 1:47pm

I am gay and I lost my partner October 2 2012 .Get therapy and the therapy will help You can never forget but your wife would want you to continue living,Be around people and friends ,do not stay alone and cry when you feel to cry and light a candle for her .You have beautiful memories treasure them and pray to God for help and speak with God every day .Ask him for guidance .Stanley

Permalink Reply by Ross johnson on May 6, 2014 at 1:55pm

Thank all of you, just writing my posting was hard to due, especially though the tears that were flowing. Putting it down on paper was the hardest. But I feel better already. Thank you again.

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on May 6, 2014 at 2:46pm

You can do it,Ask  God to guide you , 

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on May 6, 2014 at 3:51pm

im so sorry ross we all on hear coz of death all difrnt resons we r  all i no wn we loze loved 1s a lot of peple can be so anyon thy can

mnisin prt is worst prt it is 

so sorrry

Permalink Reply by Becky G on May 15, 2014 at 3:24pm

So sorry for you loss. I can't fully imagine the pain you feel after 33 years with someone and the suddenness of her death. My mom too had a sudden death. I just had to relive it again this May. She actually left in 2012. I think it's a life changing experience and the sadness I don't believe will ever fully leave us but life does go on and should. I would want my husband to have love again if that's what he wanted because we all need each other and it's fully your choice in time. Blessings.

Permalink Reply by Ross johnson on May 15, 2014 at 3:57pm

Yesterday was a bad day for me, awaking at 6:50 a.m. again, time I would awake to call her at 7a.m. so she get up to go to school where she volunteered in the 21st grade.
I think what triggered it was a call from the tissue bank the night before tell me they were sending us some kind of crystal to commemorate her gift of sight to someone.
Then and every stop I made during the day I had a memory of her.
As I drove I remember harassing her by reach over with an extended magnet and grabbing her earring with it as she played some silly game on her I pad as she rode with me when school was out.
She was so cute and precious, when ever we were together we had fun.

But this morning I started out great. I am doing so much better.

I don't believe anyone will ever replace her, but your right life goes on.
I just try for now to keep busy and not think too much about anything. It will take some time though. I told me bother I was going to reinvent myself as a Norwegian Bachelor Farmer. He said you, I doubt that, More like a 65 year old playboy. Laughting.
No, I sure I be fine. But it is not easy right now, tomorrow is the one month anniversary of her death. But I try to think of it as my Great grand daughters being one month old.
How cool is that.

Permalink Reply by Ross johnson on May 15, 2014 at 4:18pm

I know that I have not mentioned mothers day.
Just before mothers day the first graders in our school will receive a necklace to bring home to their moms.
My wife and I started this tradition a few years back. I am going to fund this program to continue. My wife was such a great photographer that she was able to capture the joy in the children's faces when they would get this gift to bring home.
Sudden deaths I think are so much harder then when we lose an aging parent. We expect that to happen.
But I know it is hard when you lose anyone you love.
But life goes on.

Permalink Reply by Becky G on May 16, 2014 at 3:26pm

Glad to hear you are finding some bright spots everyday!! I think it is wonderful your wife donated to someone in need. I also thought it was so neat about the necklaces. I actually thought of that type of thing because I also love photography and I was thinking of how we could preserve our children's artwork. How wonderful you will keep this going! The days that trigger us are so hard to take. I started this year determined not to be depressed on "that day" because the one and only day was the day it happen but I end up having some tears and then try for the distractions. One month is so unbelievable rough. I've been crying for 2 years off and on and with family dramas I think I am having some delayed grief. How wonderful to have grandchildren and great grandchildren! As a therapist told me once that's like good medicine!!!

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on May 16, 2014 at 4:29pm

me 2 becky i luv tking pics 2 iv posyed so mush on heat iv cort bst 1s iv cort by acsentet 1s u dont esxspets 2 cath u dotn heras a few cort ths yr or lst or so on if u dont mnd be postng thm on 

i juts hp its ok 2 pots thes 

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