Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Bonnie Beucler on July 3, 2010 at 5:13pm

Hi Kim,

I have too similar a story though I was in the car as well. We were 4 miles from home with groceries in the back. Life was good. It was the day after Chirstmas. And a woman crossed the center line and hit us head on. I have no idea if he tried to swerve, the witness didn't say anything about that. She felt that John had no time to react it was too fast.
I was in the ICU for 3 weeks so of course missed his memorial. His daughters ransacked the house, looking for what I have no idea. They took my jewelry "for safe keeping" but I've been home since March and no sign of it.
I have been very sad lately. I guess I had to get better before I was strong enough to grieve.....he was a sweet man and his eyes and his love were for only me. His kids knew that I suppose so they took from me. We had been together 26 years and had never married. We saw no need. Well I see the need now. I had no kids of my own and at the moment am very lost.
One daughter took custody of my parrot, Rio, while was I was in the hospital, but Rio too died. He was only 20. So very sad.....John was my everything and as old as were are we still had plans for our future.....

Permalink Reply by Anita Kelly on July 6, 2010 at 1:47pm

Hi Kim

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband Joe October 26, 2009. I came home from work & found him laying on the floor between the kitchen & living room. He wasn't well for awhile. Never in a million yrs. did I expect something like this. To make things even worse, I lost my job 2 months later. Lately it seems like I am going backwords. I feel like just being home gets me more depressed. Finally went to see my dr. who told me everything I am experiencing & feeling is perfectely normal and not to listen to comments. Then you hear from his family, Anita you need to find a job, you have too much time on your hands, or you have been depressed for a long time now. My God what did I lose here? As for Joe, this really didn't have to happen. He had a terrible accident in 2008 which he was never right after that. He lost his job, found another, not quite enough money having a very hard time making ends meet. He got so depressed that he really didn't care about anything anymore andt included taking care of himself. Had to fight with him to go to the dr. Breathing was starting to be a struggle for him I would have taken care of him, I always had & I always would have. I justdon't understand. I don't think I ever will. There are days when it seems that all I see is him laying there.
some days it seems that it is right in front of me.

Permalink Reply by kim milligan on August 7, 2010 at 12:03am

hi Bonnie... i am just reading this, although you wrote to me a month ago. I am so sorry I haven't responded before now. If you ever want to talk, I am also on facebook . If it helps to talk, I am here.

Permalink Reply by April Gabbert on July 13, 2010 at 12:37pm

Kim:

First, I'm sorry for your loss. I know from experience that statement means nothing, nor does it help, it just seems to be what people say. I am 43, I have two children an eleven year old, and a twenty two year old, living at home with debilitating arthritis. My husband left to go golfing on April 10th. I got a phone call, from his cell phone that evening, from a police officer, stating he had passed away on the golf course from a heart attack.

My husband was my soul mate. We also had big plans, and no desire to ever part, I'm lost, scared, and don't know how to motivate myself to do what I need to do to get my family out of our deep depression. I too have lost a tremendous amount of weight. I can't seem to accomplish anything. I haven't gone grocery shopping since my husband died. We've been spending our savings on take out, and paying the bills, but I was a stay at home mom for 8 years, and the only income we have is only a fraction of what my husband made, coming in from social security. My husband had two daughter's from a previous marriage, one of which was living with us at the time, but she left me to move back in with her natural mother. I felt as though I'd lost my husband, and my daughter.

I'm reaching back out to you, maybe we can help each other. How do you overcome the tremendous shock, and grief, that comes from losing your soul mate, your children's father, and your best friend. We had no warning. I'm still waiting for him to come home. I haven't packed any of his things yet, and I still have some of his laundry in my hamper. I'm not sure how to make it....

April Gabbert

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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Friedel on August 6, 2010 at 1:55am

Hi, I am new to this group. I lost my 43 year old husband Mark. He fall down our basement steps and land on his head. He past away on June 27, 2010 from severe brain trauma. He was my best friend, husband, and great stepfather to my son.

I am so depressed. I have very bad depression, anxiety and panic attacks now. All I do is cry and I can't sleep . I still can't believe he is gone.

He was in the hosipal on life support for 10 days. Then everything started shutting down. I took him off of life support and I can't get the picture of him laying there dieing out of my mind. When I had them take him off of the breathing machine he never took a breath on his own. When I do fall a sleep all I see is him dieing. Its like a nightmare that won't go away. All I want to do is remember him when he was a live.
I just don't know how to go on without him in my life. I really need someone to talk to.

Permalink Reply by Ken Ciolek on August 6, 2010 at 9:45pm

Hi Jennifer,

I am so sorry for your loss, I have a pretty good idea what you are going through and dealing with. My situation is a little bit different but can relate to a lot of your feelings etc with what my wife is feeling. I lost my daughter suddenly back in December 2009, she was 18 and never work up that morning, I can tell you it changed my life forever and not for the better. If you need someone to talk to more, you can email me directly at kciolek@verizon.net

Permalink Reply by Kelley Carlee on August 7, 2010 at 7:12pm

I know exactly how you are feeling, only my husband died last November, so I've had a little longer. I wish I could tell you that it gets better quick but lately I feel more loss then I did after it happen. I am so sorry you have to go through this or anyone has to. My husband and I have 2 sons and they are 19 & 21. I guess it is good that they weren't younger but it's hard for me because not only am I a widow but and empty nester all at once. People say we need to talk about it and sometimes I feel like that's all I do. I am lucky that my husband was funny, loving, and caring also. People in our community gave us a spagetti dinner, they liked him so much. I will pray for you and all that have this emptiness in their hearts.

Permalink Reply by Wendy Day on August 15, 2010 at 6:54pm

i just lost my fincee we had a baby girl on july 16th and 2 days later i lost him to a heart attack at age 33. im lost with out him and i find it hard to take care of our baby i would like to know if and how to push forward without him

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