Lost of my teenager, my baby

I have had a very hard time in dealing with the loss of both of my loved ones. My brother had gone through a bone marrow transplant and his body had rejected it. Thankfully I had time to say my goodbyes to him. Grant it it didn't make the loss of him any easier but I don't have any regrets that I didn't tell him what was in my mind.

Then 20 days later I was told by the state police that my son had died in a car crash on one of the back roads here in our town. Thankfully my husband was home because when I seen the trooper come to the door I feel to the floor and my husband caught me. Even though this happened back in May I am still having a ruff time in believing that it all happened so quick. I have so many wishes that I could have talked to my son about. As a 16 year old boy I thought there would be so much time to say what I wanted. This child deserved a major thanks from me because for so many years he and my husband took care of me because I was having up to 20 seizures a day. I miss them both so bad and have just had a really hard time in dealing with the loss because my emotions don't seem to react do to my brain surgery.
I have just starting entering this page. My counselor has been after me to come on but I have found it very hard to talk about my loses that I have suffered in the past year. In May I lost two of the closest people in my life. On May 3rd I lost my brother to leukemia. Then on the 23rd I lost my youngest boy in a car accident with a group of his friends.

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Permalink Reply by Kisha Bean on February 1, 2010 at 5:26am
I am so sorry
Permalink Reply by Lorie Dunn on February 22, 2010 at 8:54am
Hi Michelle,
I am so sorry for your loss. My son, Hunter was 16 when he passed away on 12-26-09. The circumstances were different but the pain you and I feel are the same. I have so many "what if's, but's, if only's and why's" that float through my head that there are days (like today) that I can't bring myself to even go to work or shower or anything. I just want my baby back. I want one more hug. I want one more crazy teenage fight. Anything! I want answers. I want justice. I want Hunter.
My counselor suggested a grieve site too. So I found this site before church yesterday and thought I would try it. Lord knows it can't hurt.
Your son was beautiful.
Take care
Permalink Reply by Charlotte on March 4, 2010 at 9:09am
I too am grieving the loss of my curly-headed son who passed away on Thanksgiving Day from a drug overdose...he was almost 36. There are no words to comfort you but just know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as I am sure so many on this site are too.
Permalink Reply by Lorie Dunn on March 4, 2010 at 9:14am
Today has not been a good day (as if any are). I received part of the autopsy report back yesterday. It was worse than what I thought. I just can't believe that there are people out there that claim they were my child's friends that could just put him to bed to die. Of course, no one will talk about it, I'm just left to wonder. It's driving me crazy.
Permalink Reply by Michelle Hornbrook on June 29, 2010 at 10:20am
I can understand you hurt and frustration with the kids and how much they close off and how much happens that you don't know. I feel sorry for you. It is hard to handle. That is one area that I am grateful for the relationship that I had with my baby but his older brother is a similar relationship. He closes off from me what he does and my only plus is that I am in a small town where everyone knows everything so if he is doing something that he shouldnt be then it usually comes back to me before something else worst happens. The part that upsets me the most is that my baby shouldn't have even been in the vehicle let alone be allowed to drive and the girl that allowed it just got a slap on the wrist and has been boughten a new sports car and acts as though nothing is wrong.

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