I lost my boyfriend who was only 26 years old.  I came home from work one night three weeks ago and found him on the floor not breathing.  He was cleaning a gun and it accidently went off.  I tried to sake him and yell his name but he didnt get up.  I yelled for our roommate who called 911 but i knew he was gone. I completely fell apart that night and i havent been able to pick myself back up.  I feel like i am just floating along with no point.  Everyone else is moving on but i feel like i cant. Every time i close my eyes i see his smiling face.  He was the perfect man and we had talked about marriage.  I feel bad if i even smile because it is not fair that he cant smile anymore. He was a wonderful person who always helped people and expected nothing in return.  He was a paremedic and a firefighter and way to young to be taken away from me.  I see him everywhere i look and everything reminds me of him.  I dont know how to make it through this.  I am only 24 years old and have never had to deal with close lose before.  I often wish it would of been me instead of him because he had so much more to offer the world than i do.  He was just better all the way around.  We lived together and he was always there for me. He was my rock, and i dont know how to keep living without him.  He was my whole world. Does it ever get easier?? will i ever be able to smile again??

Views: 74

Replies to This Discussion

Hi,

I understand how you feel. Sometimes I ask myself why am I still here when children loose their mothers and fathers to death and if I died no one would suffer because now it is just me. I lost my only parent Jun 2011. You boyfriend was way to young to die BUT it was his time. So hard to understand isn't it. It doesn't get easier it just gets different as time marches on you learn to live without them in the physical sense. When I am about to loose it I pretend my mother is visiting someone. Denial works when you need it. How wonderful it was that you crossed paths in your life with someone you loved and he loved you. Everything is temporary. If we are lucky we get to meet many special people along the way. Find something to fill the emptiness in your heart. I work in animal rescue. Remember that your life is not about you specifically. It is about how you handle the MOST difficult things that come into your life. One day you will pass to the next place to. Until then live your life being an example of the girl he loved. He is still your boyfriend and that does not end when we move to the next place. Read about life after death it will bring you much comfort knowing you will be reunited. No one religion is right. I study Buddhism.

RSS

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service