Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lily Lily Rose on January 16, 2016 at 8:00am

I lost my brother in June. I loved him very very much. He believed in me also- not many people do. I was able to care for him as he died. I know the feeling of not being able to breathe. I hope you find some peace.

Permalink Reply by Troy Willis on January 17, 2016 at 12:48am

Thank you very much. I wish you and your family the best

Permalink Reply by Lily Lily Rose on January 17, 2016 at 8:53am

There's a book out on the tragic loss of a sibling, the first paragraph is about not being able to breathe. It made me immediately bond with the author's experience. Best wishes to you.

Permalink Reply by Troy Willis on January 17, 2016 at 6:19pm

Thank you I will look into that. 

Permalink Reply by Kelli C. on January 17, 2016 at 9:06am

Hi Troy.  Your brother sounds like he was an amazing person who loved you very much and I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I lost my older brother in a fire (it will be 5 years in March) and I still can't look at his pictures.  I understand the feeling of not being able to breathe and the hardest part for me was not having a chance to say goodbye.  I know he knew that I loved him, but I wish I could have told him just one more time.

I lost my daughter, my brother, my father and my best friend.  When my daughter died, I truly felt like I was going to die of a broken heart because I was so completely devastated.  When my father died, there were so many times that I felt like a lost child because the person who guided me all of my life was no longer there.  But when my brother died, I felt completely lost in my place in this world.

Someone once told me that we identify with who we are by our siblings (I am not an expert on this, I am just passing this along).  My brother was the oldest and I was second out of four children. I always looked up to him, followed him around (and probably annoyed the heck out of him) and always knew that he would be there to protect me.  So, when he died so suddenly I felt like my entire world was torn from under my feet.  To this day, I still feel his loss very deeply. 

I wish I could say something that would take your pain away.  Each of us handles our grief in our own way and it's important that you deal with your loss in your own way, in your own time. 

In those early days I couldn't stop crying and couldn't function in simple day to day things.  But I forced myself to get up and try to keep moving forward as best as I could. Most days, I just cried and couldn't stop thinking of how he died.  Now, I cherish the happy memories and closeness we shared.  I am thankful that my life was blessed with my brother's love for as long as it was and how much I have learned from him over the years. That is something that I will always carry with me and how he lives on. 

I wish you and your family blessings and healing and I pray that your older brother recovers from his cancer.  Just know that you are not alone, Troy and I hope that someday, when you are ready, you are able to fulfill your dreams. Even though your brother is no longer here, all of his love and lessons will always be with you and continue to guide you through your life. 

Permalink Reply by Troy Willis on January 17, 2016 at 6:18pm

Thank you so very much for everything you just said. My heart hurts for you. This is just so devastating and unbelievable that my brother is gone. Im not sure how to really process this. I have buried him twice, they have had to open and close his vault each time. I was able to do another funeral for him and open the casket up again. I moved from Michigan two months after he died and then I went back to get him and bring him here to California where he can be with me. Thank you for your support and I wish you the best. Please stay in touch just to say hi sometime and let me know your ok.