I just lost my mother on December 3rd. This also happened to be my wedding anniversary. I thought I would be prepared for her death because she was 87 years old. However  she took a fall and was getting stitches. The were getting ready to admit her for the night when she crashed. I watched them try to save her and was in the room when they called it.  When I close my eyes all I can see is how her arms flopped as they shocked her. I don't sleep more than 3 hours a night. I don't feel like doing anything and I can't focus for any length of time. Can anyone give me any ideas on how to get through this. I would greatly appreciate if anyone could.

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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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