Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by christianlee on March 18, 2012 at 8:39am

So sorry to hear about your young sister. Sad. My father passed away from a blood clot to his lungs...but that was after a major surgery. Thinking of you dear and sorry for your loss.

Permalink Reply by Denise Murphy on March 18, 2012 at 3:36pm

Hi Kylie,

I am so sorry for your terrible loss, and the suddenness of it.  It is a horrible story, I can only share my life experience with grief and what helped me.  I too lost my sister suddenly, she was 41 years old and had two beautiful children.  I can relate to you feeling as if your in a bad dream, it took me months to realize I had to accept that this is what happened.  I went over it and over it and thought of ways we could have avoided what happened, but when it came down to the truth it did happen and I could do nothing to change it.  My suggestion to you is to go to the library and pick up some books on the grief process, this helped me to understand I was not going crazy.  I also journaled every day, I wrote down all my feelings and thoughts, it brought it out of my head.  One of the best things I did was write my sister a letter, I expressed my love and grief to her, it felt like she was sitting right there reading the letter over my shoulder. Another thing that helped me tremendously was a bereavement group, it really helps to be able to tell your story.  I hope that I helped you a little bit, everybody grieve's differently, there is no time limit, no right way to grieve or wrong way, it is your way.    You have had an awful experience I would suggest getting some professional help don't do this alone.  I will keep you in my prayers.

God Bless,

Denise

Permalink Reply by Vicki Lawrence on March 19, 2012 at 12:32am

last december my husband suffered a dislocated shoulder and we took him to what we thought was an excellent small hospital in Burlington Kansas.  I checked him in for the night at about 8 pm and then went home to rest so I could be back up there the next morning.  When I got there he was in excruciating pain because the ER doctor who checked him in thinks everyone is a drug addict and had ordered a miniscual amount of morphine.  I got to the hospital at about 8 am and we sat there all day waiting for someone to come get him in order to relocate the shoulder.  During that time his Blood Pressure never ran under 200 on the top number and not under 110 on the bottom number.I have worked in hospitals and so I asked the nurse when she brought in a syringe what it was she was injecting and she replied 'Morphine'.  I told her I wanted to see just how much they were giving him and it was not enough to deaden a boil let alone a dislocated shoulder.

My husband was never a whiner or crying person but the agony from the pain was so intense his blood pressure kept shooting up higher.  He finally said "Mom please please go see if they can give me more pain medicine.  So I went to the nurses station and asked her that and also why in the name of all that is holy was it taking so long to get the procedure done.  She very nastily replied "well we are going to have to work him in and it is a 3 or 4 hour procedure.  Finally 21 hours later they came in and took him to surgery.  It was 5 pm.  At 5:25 they rolled him back into the room.  I asked him how he felt and he said "I feel great now Momma"  I said good I think I will go home and rest and be back up in the morning.  I asked the two attendants that were in his room to go with me into the hall.  My husband had medical issues one of them being Meniers disease which destroys the inner ear which results not only in loss of hearig but also a total loss of balance. Iinstructed those two attendants to be sure to keep up both the upper and lower rails so he could not get out of bed by himself.  I then went to the nurses station and gave them the same instructions and I told them all that he could not leave his bed without a walker, wheelchair and an attendant with a safety strap because he WOULD fall down.

about 8 pm after I got home I called him and asked how he was doing and he said I feel great Momma go to bed you need your rest.  Approximately 25 minutes later a bubbly young girl from the hospital called and said "Mrs. Lawrence ? ( I said Yes) She said "this is Coffey County Hospital and there has been a 'little' incident with your husband.  It looks like he made it to the bathroom okay but he must have stumbled or something and the nurses aid heard him yelling 'Help!'  by the time she got to his room he was on the floor and his heart and breathing had stopped.  The aide had to go look for a nurse because when she hit the alarm none was at the nurses station.  She said when the code blue team got there they shocked his heard twice.  I asked her how long this took and had they at least established an airway so a bolus bag could be circulating oxygen.  She said no an that it had taken the code blue people 6 minutes to get his heart started.  This meant that his brain had already been without oxygen for long enough to cause severe brain damage.  THEN I found out that it was another 6 minutes before they started an airway so he had gone 12 minutes without oxygen to his brain and the only activity he had was a minimal amount in his brain stem.  To make a long story short they shipped him to Topeka Kansas to St Francis hospital.  He was supposed to be being flown in by helicopter but instead they took him by ambulance.  Thanks to their incompetance I lost the love of my life on the 18th of December.

Honey I don't know how you get over these kinds of losses except to say I am a Christian woman and I depend on the Lord to keep me going.  My concolences to you and your parents.  I will pray for you.

 

Permalink Reply by nadia on March 26, 2012 at 10:15am

dear kylie

Pain will never go away but you will get some better days.. I lost my wonderful only sister too suddenly last may and everyday I shed my tears and send her my love.. sisters are soulmate .. they know all about you the younger you how it feels to be you and your future you... I feel I lost my soul with her.. still cannot comprehend how life goes on without her ... I have kept a diary .. have a FB memorial page for her and post to her nearly everyday...still after 10 months cannot accept  i cannot call her.. sometimes things happen and my impulse is to call her for a chat.. she was my bestetst friend...she is around though she sent me signs and i believe your sister is around you....your love like my love would never be broken.... speak to her now,,, she is here with you....but the pain will never go never...i too miss her physical being and wish i could just lift her up from her photos and hug her hold her tight...one day i will see her i hope.. if anything i am no longer scared of dying not at all as i may be with her... my baby sister I love her how could she gone before me I was always protecting her.. I started praying (never being religious not at all) just to ask that she is fine and calm... all i want.... that's all I want for her to be ok where she is ... it helps ...but pain still there..everyday that goes by I geek sad and angry that life goes on without her.... that things happen that i cannot share.... my faith to god is not strong not at all but trying because I want her to be OK thats all I care...