Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I feel so alone.
I reached out to this group briefly after I lost the love of my life almost exactly six months ago. I haven't been able to come back much, as I felt like my heart was breaking even more after reading some of the posts. I felt like I couldn't handle more heart break. I think I have come to realize that I do need to hear how you all are feeling and handling it, and the support that you provide.
I feel so lost. I feel like I can't handle another day. I go to work every day because I have to. I do the things that I have to do. It is exhausting. Pretending to be ok is exhausting. Worrying about how uncomfortable everyone feels around me is exhausting. At the same time, I don't think anyone wants to know how I really feel. People say - "what's wrong?" Really??? I try to explain that this is the hardest time of my life, and no one begins to understand. I guess I don't really expect anyone to "understand", but, if I am forced to pretend to be OK every day, can't they pretend to try to "get it"?
I have two daughters (20 and 25) I try to be strong for them. It is so hard. I feel like I am in complete chaos. I lost my best friend, so suddenly. He was perfectly healthy and loved life so much. We were together for 11 years and had so many things planned for the future. Everywhere I look is a memory. Everything I see I am reminded of what we had and what was suppose to be. I feel so cheated.
Thanks for listening.
Jennifer
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Thanks Gabrielle - It helps to know that I am not the only one who is just "existing". Many days it feels like such a huge effort to just step out of bed and even brush my teeth. By the time I even get to work I have already had enough...
Having to go to work is the only thing that forces me up in the morning. Crying in the shower is not how my life used to be. So recently- just 4 months ago- my life was normal! And now with each day that passes the person I used to be and the contentment I used to feel - and most importantly the person I loved most in the word- is one step further away. x
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