Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Lost my soulmate a week before our wedding.Is been so hard so so hard. Not only greiving my fiance, a week before our wedding and now his family turned on me cause of the greed of money. So here im left with a empty and lonely house no money and not knowing where im going to live . Ive been hit with a triple wammy.To boot I have no one friends or family.How does a person go on?
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Thankyou for your kind words. Its been 7 weeks since he past and its still just as hard.
Oh Marlene,
I am so sorry to read of your grief. It must be very difficult to go from the anticipated high of wedding plans to the lowest, of grief for your fiance. . It is wonderful you have reached out here on line. You will find lots of solace here. Even if you can't write, are too overwhelmed that day or time, the posts really lift me up and others say the same. It is sad his family cannot focus on what is important and I commend you for honoring your fiance the way he would wish. We lost lots of dreams with the murder of my father, but now as we emerge bit by bit from grief, we are finding little baby seed-dreams. I'm hoping that our love can act like the sun and our tears like rain, to help some of the little baby seed dreams to grow. Maybe they wouldn't have in the past, without this loss. Now that we've seen a few, we are a little more on the look out for others, including other people's dreams as well. It is a mystery and will be a revelation.
This next part will be hard but you asked about practical matters too. I wonder if your county has a displaced homemakers program. I know a few years back ours did. I don't know if it has been maintained, but if yours does, you might qualify for it. Do you have a church you have visited or belonged to in the past? United Way is a great place to start with, no matter where you live in the US. They are listed in the phone book. I know it might FEEL like you're odd to not have connections but you are not. Many people have this problem these days. When I first move here 20 years ago, I went from Eastcoast urban suburban life with relatives, to stuck alone in the woods with no car and 3 babies. If I had been in your shoes then, I would have written the same thing
My co-workers and I were just talking about grieving last week. One with the 3 month shock of her mom's cancer discovery, quick decline, death and now my friend being the executor w/ 9 siblings involved. Another the 3rd anniversary of her youngest son's passing from leukemia and me with Daddy's death. Now a another friend of our worker group is newly diagnosed with lung to brain cancer, the brain cancer discovered first. We are there for each other in ways the rest cannot be, they are blessed not to know what we do. But I know I am kinder and more engaged with those I find around me now, just whoever is there. Not because I "should". I have been freed in some ways from tethers of what's been expected of me by those who have passed and by my growth from all this.
With your fog of grief, which I had/have too, all we can see is what we have lost. It is good and right to feel this so deeply it hurts. It honors our loved one and our dreams. It is good to come here and read we are not alone in this. I've screamed and ranted and rambled. Just getting up, combing our hair, remembering to eat something, making a tough call, those are major victories some days. Just breathing while we cry is keeping on some days. Just being is going on. Telling myself I will endure the next moment is going on. That's all I know about it but it must have worked because I am still here on this Earth almost 4 years later. God bless you, Marlene. Let us know how you are doing. (((Hugs))) Ruth
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