Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Marty C. on May 14, 2012 at 5:49am

oh, what a lot to deal with suddently.  Its so easy to look back and question all the decisions.  I'm very sorry your husband died, and even more sorry it was when you two were out on a special occasion.  It does certainly stick with one, when it happens thus.  (big hug)

 

I don't know how to tell you to get by.  My cousin lost her husband the same way, and then found out she was preganent.  I know it was sort of a comfort, and sort of a trauma, like that.  IS there a relative (maybe an old aunt or something) who would love a comfy place to live, and could help you out?  I'm sure you are just overrun with 4 kids, pregnant, and grieving.  I think this might be a moment to allow another in, to offer help and comfort.  Is this an optioin for you?

 

I have you, and your growing family, in my prayors.  Good luck, and warmest wishes.

 

Marty

Permalink Reply by christianlee on May 14, 2012 at 11:59am

So sorry my dear. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Permalink Reply by Tammy on May 14, 2012 at 6:55pm

Dear Stephanie,

 

I am so sorry for your loss and I experienced (and continue to experience) similar thoughts and feelings about the sudden death of my spouse when she had a heart attack at home while I was getting ready for work. I replay the images of her struggling to breathe and feeling so helpless that I couldn't save her. I also won't ever forget identifying her at the medical examiner's office (my sister-in-law demanded an autopsy), making funeral arrangements, seeing her in her casket, etc. It's all so much for you right now Stephanie and you have children who need you. I wish I could say something meaningful that would relieve some of your pain and give you advice about how to keep going. The only thing that I know for sure is that it won't always feel this unbelievably painful and your husband is with you in spirit and he walks along with you everyday. Also, ask for help with your children when you need it. I will pray for you Stephanie.

 

Tammy

Permalink Reply by renee collier on May 22, 2012 at 1:14am

Hi Stephanie,

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved husband.  I lost my fiance about 3 weeks ago. He was 43 and I found him dead.

I am glad you have found this website.  It's a great place for support.  And knowing that many others are grieving along side with you.

I know it must be so difficult for you-learning that you are pregnant at such a difficult time in your life. My heart goes out to you.

Its so hard to think of our life without our spouse/partner.  Taking each day as it comes is all we can do at this point.  People have told me it will get better over time... but I just don't see it.

You are in my thoughts.

Permalink Reply by renee collier on May 22, 2012 at 1:19am

Stephanie,

I forgot to add... I am hear to talk when you need to.  I may not respond right away because we may be on different time zones :)  But I am here.  Talking things out is helpful.

Permalink Reply by Debra Waszut on June 3, 2012 at 6:54am

I am so feeling everything you are feeling. We were making love when it happened to us.  He had a heart attack right after we had said a very intense I love you to each other.  I feel like God new what was going to happen and gave us this moment.  Just like he gave you a child to be with you and give you strength.  I also feel guilt because if I had just said no to him would he still be alive.  If I had seen signs that he was not feeling well we could have fixed this?  Apparently people tell me none of this is true. But I still can't help life feeling like a lost, empty mess.  I am just constantly thinking of one thing.  If it had been me instead of him, how would he be acting.  He was a strong strong man and was even a better mother than me.  He taught me how.  He would be taking care of everything for me.  And I am trying to to that for him.  He would want you to do that.  I want to make my husband proud of me.  I loved him sooo much.  You can make yours proud of you too.  Especially for the precious gift he left you.  I am in pain with you.  There are alot of us out hear.  He needs to have peace in heaven knowing you can do this.  Sending love and strenght your way.  I hope this helps.  I am reading all the posts and they are helping me.  Friends are helping me. Family is helping.  But all I want is him. I know how you feel all too well.