Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
On November 20th 2012, I came outside to the car to check up on my "husband". I opened the car door and he looked like he passed out so i shook him. When he didn't wake up, I shook his head. Then I figured I would turn on the dome light. When I did, I saw my love of my life, my world, my everything, dead in his car. He had to have died about 10 minutes after I went inside. There was no colour to his skin, gums were white, lips were dry and looked like someone put light colour foundation on them. I knew he was dead but didnt care. Jumped on his lap and gave him chest compressions and mouth to mouth for at least 20 til the paramedics, fire rescue, and cops showed up. When I realized he was gone, I grabbed him and screamed in his ear, "Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us! Wake up! BREATHE!!!!!!!!" Then the cop pulled me off. I couldnt goto the hospital with him because since I found him, I had to be interrogated. The car was a crime scene and well, it was a bad night. The did a full autopsy and only ruled out suicide and homicide. Everything else is still pending. He was 26.
I have known him since he just turned 18 [October 22nd 2004] and he was in love with me then. We remained friends and I even lived with him and his mum while pregnant with my son Lucius. We started dating April 4th 2007. We ended up breaking up tho a few months later because unfortunately I took his virginity so he wanted sex all the time. I was living with my parents and at the time, my 1 year old son. I ended up getting engaged and 2 months before the wedding, I told my fiance that I cant marry him because I am still madly in love with Anthony [my fiancee]. We got back together November 3rd 2007. Moved back in together January 26th 2008. Then on July 23rd 2008, as an early birthday present, I got us a house. We lived there for 3 years then lost it because of the economy. We moved in with his grandparents. He was so happy when they offered to let us stay there. He was able to help out anytime. He was right there when they needed something. On September 21st 2011, I found out that I was pregnant, 1 hour before I found out I miscarried. We both took it hard. I still goto the memorial site we have in the yard with flowers. He was and still is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My life was terrible before he came into my life and showed me what true love is. His smile was something special. He has this tough boy persona but what he didn't realize is that everyone saw through that toughness. He was my teddy bear. Since I dont drive, we useto go on road Trough thow. eveywhere
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