A month ago I lost one of my dearest and closest friends to suicide. With my friend's death, my social circle now consists of only one person, my husband. He is a wonderful man, but I know the weight of my grief is a heavy load for him. He now has to be "everything," and that is a stressful role for any one person to play.

Now that the most incapacitating part of my grief is slowly diminishing, my husband and my grief therapist are both encouraging me to broaden my social circle...do volunteer work, join local clubs, etc. I know I need to do this, but right now i find that the sight of other people disgusts me because they're not the one I lost!

Is anyone else finding it intolerable to be around people, especially new people, even though you know it will be good for you? My rational brain knows that no one will replace the person I lost and that i have to appreciate new people for their own qualities, but my heart just seems to immediately judge them as hopelessly subpar compared to the person who is forever gone from me.

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Hello, I can relate. I also had a sudden and traumatic loss. My experience has been to take things at my pace. It is alleviating to keep busy, but at the end of the day grieving catches up with me. Better to be busy within your own comfort zone and let close ones to you aware, if you feel. Most people that I connect on grieving matters agree that those that have not had an occurrence like this in life seem somewhat on the outside. But, I can see that now. My best friends and family members can understand. Best of in your process.

Smiles

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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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