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Comment by molly duffy on February 10, 2013 at 2:58am

The love of my life died on 13-12-12, We had just moved to a new city and new knowone, just us and out beautiful 12 month old daughter, I found him in bed and new he was gone, ive never felt so crushed, scared, and just completely broken.. I don't no how to move on from this, he was only 24, this isnt supposed to happen.

Comment by Mary M. on February 9, 2013 at 10:44pm

Cathy, I am sorry for your loss.  It must be doubly hard to hide your feelings at this time.   It is sad that you cannot be honest with your husband so that you don't have to hold the feelings inside.  I wonder if there is not a counsellor or a close friend that you can talk to and share how you are feeling; maybe the doctor who prescribed the anti-depressants?  I think sometimes that talking with somebody we trust, sharing how we are feeling, and sharing memories of those we have lost helps us through the pain of loss.   My prayers go out to you.

Comment by Cathy Richardson on February 8, 2013 at 10:05am

I'm hoping this group can help me. The love of my life died on December 19, 2012 after bravely fighting brain cancer for 2 years. We were married to other people and having an affair but we had previously dated when we were young and broke up. He came back into my life at a time I so dearly needed him, he was my rock and my shoulder to cry on. He was my best friend who never judged me. I know I am the "other woman" and I ask myself what right do I have to grieve him, that God is punishing me for cheating on my husband and so he took away the one man I truly loved and who loved me back. I have to keep the grief inside so as to not make my husband wonder what's wrong with me. I am on anti-depressants but I still cry every day. I have never felt so alone in all my life. Every day is a struggle to just get up and find a reason to be happy when every ounce of my being wants to just curl up and wait to die. I am only 48 and look ahead to the future and wonder how will I live the next years without him. 

Comment by Mary M. on February 4, 2013 at 10:32pm

Lee, I am sorry for your loss and I know that no amount of time really takes away the pain of loss. But it does help to share how you are feeling with others, at least for me it does.  Try to find a support group in your area or talk to somebody you trust; but don't keep the pain inside that is not a good thing to do.  Hugs & prayers for you.

Comment by Lee Mefu on February 2, 2013 at 3:59am

I lost my Boyfriend on September 6 2010 , 3 days before my birthday. He was 18 & He was stabbed and shot multiple times all over his body & face. He was destroyed & found behind some factories. It will soon be 3 years, i Miss him so much every single day , hour , minute , second. A huge part of me died , my world turned to black and white, it kills me to know he's not with me anymore. All i want is to be with him once again. Always has been and always will be my number one. I feel like i am starting to hit rock bottom once again. I don't know what to do or who to talk to to help me get through this.  It hurts me more and more as the days go by. He's all i want.

Comment by Tahnee Attwood on January 29, 2013 at 10:47pm

I lost my boyfriend in a motorcycle accident on the 31st of july 2012, a 4x4 car pulled out infront of him coming down the road as he was on the way to my house, he was only 20...i miss him so much all of my friends have avoided me since his death, nothing seems to be helping i rarely talk about it to others as no one seems to understand how much it is hurting me inside...if anyone has been in the same situation as me i'd love for you to talk to me, many thanks, thoughts go out to you all xx

Comment by Lori Marie Barker on January 17, 2013 at 5:12pm

I found my soulmate, Anthon Hitson, dead in his car on 11/20/2012. No one knows why, not even the M.E. Living without him is unbearable. I miss him so much. He has been my best friend since 10/22/2004 and my world, my everything, my soulmate since 4/4/2007. I try to be strong for everyone but I can only hold it back so long. I don't know how to live without him.

Comment by Tony Chipper on December 5, 2012 at 11:20pm

Last year was the worst year of my adult life and that made this year a whole lot about working on me. Strangely, before I expected I would be able to, I find myself very excited about my future AND present again.

The only experience I had that came close to something similar to last year's big event was a kid who crashed a motorcycle when we were all in high school. I didn't know him but I knew so many people who did. I drove some of my closest friends to the hospital to see him and the family. Seeing their faces when they knew their son wasn't going to live was troubling to me.

Since then, two uncles and my mom's step dad who I called grampa died but they were either old or lived far away. There is nothing that can prepare anyone for the event of losing the closest person to you. Losing the person closest to you is life changing especially if you are used to seeing them every day.

If there is anything that can prepare you, it is the moments that you actually spend together and making sure that you use enough of that time to tell each other that you have deep positive feelings. We made sure that we did that. I have no regrets about not telling her enough that I loved her. I got to do a lot of great and interesting things with her.

When someone that I knew in high school lost her boyfriend, I had no idea what she went through. At this point, I tend to chalk it up to me not having any depth of emotion at that time. Today I can say that in this last year I learned:

As we live and love, we do so for the purpose of showing love. We wish good things for our loved ones. When we think about the ones we have lost, one can only imagine their desire that we return to seeing the beauty in life and enjoying it again. You have to do it with your memory of them as a beacon not as baggage.

That was one of my closest friends ever and losing her was the hardest thing I ever dealt with in my adult life. What I learned from it is that friendship transcends beyond death and the ones we lost want us to be happy. The reason we miss them so much is usually because they spent so much time while they were alive trying to make us happy. Eventually, those who suffer loss have to make the memories they have bring them comfort.

I don't spend as much time on this page or in a group on FB anymore. I don't know if I can say that it is because I cry less. If anything it is because I cry more. At some point I realized that this was so deep and heavy that the emotion I felt only made sense. Allowing myself to let it out when I'm upset makes the rest of the time more bearable. Might I cry less often someday? Maybe, but it takes getting past that point of beginning to sob every time yuo think of them and that (for me anyway) took letting myself think of her and allowing any of my thoughts and emotions to come whatever they were.

I began to get relief from beginning to go through the process and she would have been the one pushing me to do so.  As part of my process, I plan to schedule regular time to view and post in this group and others.  I was posting when I felt lousy.  I was staying far away from it when I didn't.  I gained a lot of help from others in this group and other groups.  

Help is available if you need it.  There is nothing easy about this.

I wish you the best with what you are dealing with.

Comment by Linda Wood on October 28, 2012 at 9:22pm

This has been the worst year of my life.  First I get demoted at work because of the economy and downsizing.  So I'm feeling depressed about that, but still trying to carry on.  Then my ill husband dies.  I knew he was unhealthy (heart disease & diabetes) and would leave me alone one day, but I feel so lonely and empty.  I'm trying to stay strong and carry on, but I really don't have any ambition at all.  I don't want to go to work. I just want to take naps, sit around, stare into space, and cry.  Thanksgiving is my first holiday without my husband.  I was invited to a party with other family and friends, but Thanksgiving is my holiday to work.  I'm starting to hate work.

 

Comment by dream moon JO B on October 28, 2012 at 4:32pm

i no wot u mean joseph som days u hate the most im not looking forad to xmas this yer my dads favrite time coz it woz his bday on boxing day we all used to go ut on his bday and get so drunk we did i no me and my mum and dad wer on medcasion but we still got so drunk we new we enjoyd our selfs me and mum still get drunk now and again i just wish drink wud take all our problms away but i no drink dozent help like tht i try and take fotos wen im out my camra is my life lin

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