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Comment by Linda Gutierrez on February 25, 2011 at 5:12pm

its been almost 5 months for me also. And i feel the same, what kind of life am i supose to have now? i feel like an empty shell that cannot be filled. I do;nt hear from his kids and very little from his sisters, and i wonder how after 25years they are so distant from me. guess i'm just "dads wife' after all. So glad my daughter and grandkids are here with me, i'm sure i would lose my mind if i were here totally alone! Still waiting for him to come home. I found a notebook i had started writing in when we first found out how sick he was, the end of 98.all those years ago, and he never stopped drinking, yet, tell me how much he loved me, how could he and still drink, knowing it was killing him, I'll never understand that kind of addiction.

Comment by ann l prims on February 25, 2011 at 4:53pm

I lost my best fiend 5 months ago...he was like a fatherand best friend to my children. he was hiking with my oldest son ad had amassive heart attack. died in my sons arms with him fightng to save him. he ws only 33. my loss is still so harsh...i feel lke i still cant function! i dont know how to go on..this world doesnt seem real withouthim. he was everything to me  im so lost i feel like i cant find myself anymore!

Comment by Ella Verah Goods on February 19, 2011 at 1:13am

I was in the hospital when my best friend Mikalea passed away this past October. The night before we had gotten into an argument and I told her to fuck off. That next morning a drunk driver took her life and her boyfriends. ): I knew her sense 2nd grade and I am now 18 years of age. It's hard to keep going knowing that she isn't here anymore. 
I know she's with my mum and my dad up there in Heaven but it's hard to wake up and go to school every day. I'm walking around blindly looking for answers that I will never receive. I won't ever forget all those wonderful memories that we have created and smiles that we won't ever forget. 
For always and forever <33 My Mikalea.

Comment by corinne raviv on February 14, 2011 at 10:34pm

What a hard day to get through.....spent most of it in tears and thinking about the wonderful time we had last year on our dream holiday. Does it get easier? Will the pain fade? Sometimes I think that I was not meant to be happy.....and I miss him so very much. Today has been five and a half months since I started to live this nightmare....Thinking of you all that know exactly how I feel

Comment by Linda Gutierrez on February 14, 2011 at 8:48pm

my heart goes out to each of you! would be on here longer but this is my first Valentines Day without my Babe and im not doin so good. maybe tomorrow.

Comment by Reba Hyldahl on February 14, 2011 at 3:12pm

Hi;

I am new to this forum, but I lost my husband of 36 years 15 months ago.  I have been dealing with the loss with the help of my children and grandchildren and a wonderful counselor who helps me keep things in perspective.  He was ill for a long time and was in so much pain that it was a relief for him to finally let go.  But that does not mean I miss him less.  It just means that I shouldn't be angry that he left me alone. 

The first anniversary of his death was one of the hardest times I have gone through.  But it was a catharsis and I was able to enjoy the holidays with my family without breaking down.  But today is Valentines day, the day you celebrate the love in your life.  I feel so alone, the person who loved me more than anyone else in this world is gone and I know I will never feel that kind of love again.  I guess I can live with the numbness that has replaced that piece of my heart, but how can I live with having only half of the person I used to be?  My life seems to be a kind of limbo, going through the motions, punctuated by moments of joy with my children and grandchildren.  Oh, I cherish those moments, but they have their own lives and mine seems so empty.  Those simple tasks of living... cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. hold so little meaning without my love there to share, argue with and just be my companion. 

On this Valentines Day, I miss the boundless love that we shared and the life that we lived as one.  I will always love you Steve.  I am just marking  time until I can join you again.

Comment by charlene aragon on February 13, 2011 at 8:07pm

I messed up on my last post.. sorry... he was 32yrs old... and something I forgot to mention is, tomorrow is our anniversary, Feb. 14th. I can't walk into a store without losing it, because of all the valentine things that are on display.  I so much wish he was here with me, I keep thinking he's in prison or something, I'll go to work and see something, and I tell myself, wait till I tell Nick.... how stupid.  GOD bless you all, try to keep ur heads up, easier said than done...

Comment by charlene aragon on February 13, 2011 at 7:57pm

Hello.. Im am here reading everyones posts and I can't stop crying, each of you are feeling and asking the same questions that I am.  when does the hurt let up, and that empty and lost feeling gets easier to deal with.. I lost my LOVE on Jan 8thhe as 32......I had to take him off life support.... I came to this site hoping it will help me cope a little, because I'm not alone, in a matter of speaking..........    I'm sorry for everyones loss, and I hope that we can all help eachother some how to get thru our time of loss and pain.. Thank you

Comment by Linda Gutierrez on February 2, 2011 at 10:59am

thats what people say, time. But what do you do till the Time Thing kicks in? Been waiting on him to come back home. I know he's not ever coming home, but a tiny part is still waiting. like going to see my family in okla. REALITY jumped in again.had several breakdowns while i was there, but, i'm glad i finally got out of this house that seems more and more like a shrine. i'm still living as if he were here. so . how do we wait on time, to feel what?

Comment by corinne raviv on February 1, 2011 at 11:27pm

Does it get easier? Does time heal? It has been 5 months since my perfect life became a living hell.....I take one small step forward and then 10 large steps back.....I want him back desperately and cant imagine growing old without him.....God bless to all  of you that know  exactly how I am feeling

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