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Comment by Karlene on May 16, 2013 at 7:23pm

Hi. I am new here. I've spent a lot of time not dealing with my losses. I've gotten fairly good at it, but lately, it's getting harder to pretend I'm not in pain. Within a 10 year span I have lost two brothers, two nephews, and two years ago, my dad. Right now, one of my best friends is in hospice care and losing her battle with cancer. My brothers, and nephews were unforeseen sudden loses. My nephews were casualties of war. One of them was the light of my life, and like a son to me. I also have an exceptionally stressful, and often sad profession. I'm an IV therapy RN, so many of my patients are very sick, and I visit them in their homes,so I am privileged to get to know them and their families on an intimate level. I know I need more support than I have asked for before. I'm used to being the person that helps others to heal, not asking for help for myself. Well, that's me in a nutshell. Thank you for listening. K.

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 27, 2013 at 4:34pm

yes i no tht fealing s savoie lozing my dad lst yr an his best mate my surgate uncle bill thn all deaths in jan brings the painful memri bac of lozing my dad its jus gets to us som days som days r worse thn othr dauys thy r

Comment by s savoie on March 27, 2013 at 9:05am

Today I am feeling completely overwhelmed by sadness. I know that everyone else in this group is also overwhelmed.  I don't know how to get past the history:  my dad died 12 years ago.  I am at peace with his death.  Feb 1 2012, my husband died 6 months after diagnosis of colon cancer.  March 25, 2012 his father died under very similar conditions.  April 14, my best friend's husband died after a 3 year battle with cancer.  at that point I was numb.  Maybe the numbness is wearing off.  In January, my mom became ill, had her 83rd birthday under hospice care in February, and died March 4, 2013. Her death in the words of hospice "was a good death" -- no pain, no tubes, monitors or machines.  Now I am at home by myself wondering how to go on.  I have been to see my doctor who thinks my adrenal glands are out of whack.  I can't find a local grief group.. don't want to just depend on the meds.     

Comment by Judith Brandl on January 18, 2013 at 3:39pm

I've endured multiple losses over my entire lifetime. My father committed suicide when I was eleven years old. After that, I lost my mother, not to death but to the bar life because she couldn't handle her grief (understandable). When I was twenty one my husband was ran over by a van, which drug him a considerable length and then ran over him again. Then I had a reprieve of over twenty years until my mother actually passed from emphysema in 2006 and I still miss her terribly. A year and a half ago my beloved pomeranian of fourteen years was attached and killed by a bobcat in my back yard. Lastly, my husband of fourteen years died on October 12, 2012 of a massive stroke. It hurts, it more than hurts. But, I take a deep breath and I have to go on. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger I've found. I think although we feel loss on many different levels depending on what we've lost, loss is loss at the end of the day and can leave us feeling depleted and empty if we don't fight to hang on so that's what I intend on doing. Now acting on that thought, that's the hard part. We all have to keep trying, day by day, one moment at a time. My heart goes out to every person that's had to endure loss in there life. None of us escape it really.

Comment by Angel on December 29, 2012 at 9:21am

I'm part of this club..sadly...I don't come on very much lately because I am to the point of giving up..I am so lonely...that I can't breath sometimes.....I have lost my dad, 21 year old daughter, only sibling to suicide, one close friend of 30 years, and another of 48 years.....and lastly my husband 2 years ago to lung and bone cancer...all of these people were very young...I can't stand the pain anymore...God bless all of us...

Comment by Chloe on December 28, 2012 at 10:23pm

Hi, My name is Chloe and I lost my husband to a very unexpected bloodclot that went to his heart on 2/11/09. My Mother did not come to the funeral and when I went to find out why she was in the hospital and I was told she had terminal lung and bone cancer.  She died shortly after. Neither of them had even been sick at all. It has been almost 4 yrs now and it still seems like yesterday. I live alone and because of a medical condition I am no longer allowed to drive. Everyone else seems to not have enough time to grieve and I have too much. That's all I do and I have no one else close.

Comment by Stacy S on November 17, 2012 at 9:01am

Hi, My name is Stacy. I have had 5 losses in the last 2 yrs. I lost my brother, mom, dad and grandpa as well as just recently my childrens father just passed away a few weeks ago. I must say that the hardest thing to ever have to do in my life was to have to tell my children their father was gone. I thought I was dealing with that we had pretty well up until the kids dad passed away. With me personally having so many losses, I feel really weak, which makes it really hard for me to be there and be strong for my kids. Of course I'm doing it but I feel like I could do alot better. I also feel like I have had no time what so ever to mourn. One loss after another is so crazy!! I have 5 children and am a very busy lady. I go through every day minute by minute. LOL

Comment by Stephanie on October 9, 2012 at 2:55pm

hi i'm steph... also have had so many losses. i'm 45 now and very blessed to still have loved ones.... how do we carry on with the loss of so many very close loved ones. people say we just HAVE to go on, which i understand is true. but what does that make of the LIVES of those we've lost. it feels to me that to just "carry on" is like to ignore their lives. how on earth do we do that?!  then what is it all about?

Comment by Robin Jone on October 9, 2012 at 2:36pm

Hi Kristie, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mom when I was 8 to a heart attack, my dad when I was 18 to bladder cancer, my brother about 19 years ago in a tragic accident (he and his friend fell while mountain climbing near a frozen waterfall), most recently on Sept 3rd of last year I lost my son, Zach who was only 23, who fell from a waterfall. So many others, sister-in-laws, nephew, etc. etc. most days I seem to be doing okay, but then out of the blue it will hit me like a sledge hammer and the pain will take my breath away. This past  weekend we moved my oldest daughter and granddaughters to a different state, driving home the pain was so intense, I felt like I was losing them and didn't know if I could take more pain in my life. I really have to stop myself when I start thinking like that because at least I know they are okay, that I can drive to see them, but it is still so hard it feels like another loss. My daughters and granddaughters I felt were what have kept me going one day at a time. I just have  to remind myself to take it sometimes one moment at a time, and not to expect too much of myself, that I am only human and it is okay to let myself be sad just not to wallow in the self pity because that doesn't do me or anyone any good. Prayers and hugs to any of us on here who have lost too many loved ones. One is too many.

Comment by Kristie on October 2, 2012 at 12:44pm

I lost my brother (18 months older), 4 years ago, in a tragic car accident, lost my mother 2 years ago, and lost my dad in July, while on the beach in Florida for vacation.  I have a wonderful husband, and a beautiful girl, but I feel like I have lost everyone that ever loved me unconditionally.  I have no other siblings, and I am only 40.  My dad had a heart attack 1 day after I turned 40, right there on the beach with me.   I feel like I do really good most of the time, but some days, I just feel empty.  This is really really hard.  I know God has a plan, and I know I will never let go of his hand, but sometimes, I just don't know where to draw strengh from.  

 

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