My Story

When I was twelve my mother was murdered then my beloved sweet grandmother died when I was 18. My maternal grandfather died when I was 22. My maternal grandmother died when I was 33 and my final living parent/grandparent died when I was 35.  I lived with a lot of loss most of it came at a sudden clip.  I'm left with incredible feeling of loneliness even though I've been married for 20+ years and have two wonderful children.  It's tough to share my true feelings with my wife because it's so hard for her deal with not being able to fix my sadness.  I'm hoping talking to people who have experienced my type of loss may help me.

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Permalink Reply by Joe von Anjou on August 15, 2020 at 2:34pm

My heart goes out to you.

My brother was killed in a car accident decades ago.

My mother died from vascular dementia this past April (2020.) Because of the pandemic, I was only able to bury her in July.

I thought burying her, and then having her name and dates engraved on the tombstone under those of her better son would make me feel better. Neither did. I only feel worse. I only feel empty now.

I do not think our sadness can be fixed. I think the best possible outcome is that we learn to live with our sadness.

My heart and thoughts go out to you.

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