Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jodi Holler Underhill on October 22, 2012 at 6:33am

Wow...that is so much to deal with at once. Do you have a support system around you? Jodi

Permalink Reply by Laurie Finch on October 22, 2012 at 7:16pm

I have gone to a grief counsilor a couple times and am going to start a grief group this week. And maybe with talking to others that are going through the same thing here on this site, I just pray that it will help!

Permalink Reply by Angel on October 22, 2012 at 7:39am

Oh Laurie I am so sorry......Multiple losses are so difficult..I have just finished grieving #6...I a short period...including my daughter and husband....you know not that it makes it easier but we all expect our parents to die but never our children or grandchildren...so you and your own grief and that of watching your son/daughter grieve.......we are all here for one another...I will tell you that I am just starting to realize ho many I have lost and feel very alone ..and just want to scream..and do sometimes....my heart is with you...please keep writing and we will all be here to answer in any way we can help...you are not alone...Angel..

Permalink Reply by Laurie Finch on October 22, 2012 at 7:13pm

Hi Angel, thank you for the very kind words. And I am here for you too. You never think things like this would happen to you. And when it does you feel like your in a daze and wonder if you will ever wake up and find it was all a bad dream. The tears just don't seem to ever stop. And I do know how you are feeling, maybe a different loss, but it still hurts deep. Keep in touch and thank you again.

Permalink Reply by susan joanette wilson on October 22, 2012 at 7:21pm

I am so sorry to hear of the loses. I lost my mother in 1989 she was stabbed to death opening the door to a person in need. he cut her up. alot of it to her face.  she was 54 years old. My world went to crap in 2009.  They found and convicted the person who killed her.  DNA They gave him 60 years closure should have been a good thing but my life went to hell 2009 in sept I lost my job, my home, My oldest son was killed crossing a street on his bicycle hit by a halfton 4x4. torn aortic valve.He was 32. then the next year 2010 Our father passed. He was 84 He was very ready and had a very peaceful passing. may 2011 I lost  another son, construction accident. he had a baby girlfriend and a twin.Past 3 years have been terrible. People say you need to move forward. The doctor  has given me a lot of pills. They help.  I have been an emotional wreck for the past year. I don't want sympathy, just others under standing.  It helps to come here and vent or cry. I feel like I have no mind. I have a little spoiled dog that means the world to me. I do beleive that there is a god. I am thankful for the comfort that they are with god. but I sure miss them.  I found journals are a good outlet. I will pray for you.

Permalink Reply by Laurie Finch on October 22, 2012 at 7:29pm

I know you said you don't want sympathy, but WOW you poor thing. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you also. I did start a journal, but when i get to certain parts i want to write I find it too hard to. And the one thing that really helps me is knowing they are in heaven and I will get to see them again. But I do have times that I still get really mad at God and i want my babies back!

Permalink Reply by Judith Brandl on January 18, 2013 at 4:01pm

Laurie, first of all I want to say how very sorry I am for the loss of your mother and your two grandchildren. Each loss is so different, I felt as though my anchor was gone when my mother passed and my heart goes out to you. Having two grandchildren myself, I can only imagine the unbearable pain you must be going through. Our grandchildren are our heart. I'll keep your heart in my prayers and pray that you'll eventually find healing, peace and hope through this website, in knowing that you're not alone, and that there are people you may not know exactly how you are feeling inside, but do know what it feels like to grieve and miss our loved ones. Hang on and take it minute by minute, and try to reach out for support so you're not alone. God bless your heart<3

Permalink Reply by Mark on February 9, 2013 at 1:28am

 I have read your comments Laurie and other people's; I am so sorry for your loss.  I am coming up on one year in March since my father passed of Cancer; it was a bit rough at the end, and I truly feel the professionals failed us in many ways - lack of good info; partially I maybe had lost confidence in them; but then, less than 2 months later, my mother passed suddenly. As I write this, I just got off the phone with someone I had to tell - because they knew mom and dad too - that they both had passed; he had said to me "oh I hope your mom and dad are ok". He said I'm sorry - when I told him - for the loss. Then I got off the phone and broke down. I have been doing it less frquently, but lately theres been some times where the pain emotionally is just excruciating. They were my world. I did lots with them, and I know we know our parents are going to go, but the way it happened from May 2011 to June 2012 went from 2 parents to 0 - and it was just like a big wave figuritively swept them away.

 

I do pray and have gone to grief counselling etc.... but it feels like my arm has been ripped away. minimal family, and I find many people truly "don't" get it I don't feel... just the whole scenario.. I came looking a few weeks back for some place to try and share and get perspective.  I pray every day that Mom and Dad are ok. I am having lots of flashbacks; about their last days, about things I wish I had talked with them about (I thought we had reflected on lots of things, but I realize we didn't talk/reflect on lots of things). I miss both, but losing mom so suddenly was like being hit by a big hammer in the side of the head.

 

I pray for all who have gone through the losses.  Thanks for reading/listening.   M