Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I am 33 yrs old. I have 2 children ages 9 and 13. I am also a nurse, so as you can imagine when I found out my grandpa was being taken advantage of I wanted to move him in right away. He lived with us very happily for about 2 years and suffered a stroke in Feb '13. I felt horrible because I hadn't kept up on his meds. When he first moved in he hadn't been to a Dr. in years. So I got him back to all of his Dr.'s and on his blood pressure meds. At first I helped him with his meds. Then he showed he could take them on his own so I backed off to give him independence. He would even ask for a refill around the time they were due. In reality he wasn't taking them, he didn't think he needed them. That's why he had a stroke, not taking his meds. He ends up in a nursing home for about a month for rehab. He lost 3/4's of his crappy vision. The only way I could bring grandpa back home was if I had someone home 24/7. In March my uncle moved in from out of state to help care for grandpa. A few months go by, we had blind specialist come in and work with grandpa, physical therapy was coming, and even another nurse. On June 25, 2013 my grandpa fell down 13 wooden stairs onto a concrete floor. My kids were home at the time and saw everything. It only took 15 mins to get to the hospital and by the time we got there grandpa had become unresponsive, he passed away 20 mins later. It was really hard for all of us to get through.
In March 2013 I lost a very close friend in a really bad car wreck. His sudden passing was extremely hard to deal with.
In Aug 2013 I lost 2 uncles to cancer. My uncle Richard and I were close when I was growing up. He came to visit me from out of state in the summer of 2012. He had always been a larger man and now he looks thin. We went to dinner one night and he didn't have an appetite and complained of nausea. I told y aunt she needed to get him to his Dr. right away when they return. They ended up finding stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I spent many nights and days on the phone with my aunt explaining things the Dr.'s didn't and just comforting her.
My uncle Dale and I were close when I was growing up but I hadn't spent much time with him in my adult years. I got a call from my mom that my uncle was in the hospital and I need to go visit. I knew it was serious. My uncle was admitted to the hospital I was working at. I can still remember his face when I walked in wearing my scrubs with my badge. I could tell he was proud. He couldn't speak because he was intubated (on a breathing machine). I spent some time with him and went to work. I got a call at 530am that he had passed.
In Jan 2014 my uncle who had moved in to help with grandpa ends up with leukemia. A week after diagnosis I call 911 because he wasn't acting himself. He is admitted because his body only has half the blood it should, he had NO white count (no way to fight infection), and he was confused. One night during one of my shifts I hear on the overhead "Code blue 3206!" my heart sank, that was my uncles room. I run down 2 floors to find them doing CPR. I sat at the nurses station to catch my breath and a nurse comes over to see how I was doing. She asked if I wanted to see him, "yes" I said. I walk in and they are sitting my uncle up and I ask him in surprise "How are you feeling?" He said "With my hands". He was always a smart ass like that. 2 days later they had to intubate my uncle and sedate him. We never spoke after that, He would respond sometimes but he was pretty out of it. On Feb 18th we decided to extubate. If my uncle couldn't be out riding his Harley he wouldn't want to go on. His body was full of infection and too weak to fight it off. Once again I had to come home and tell my children we have lost another family member.
Just a few weeks ago another good friend was taken from me. I grew up with this guy and had known him 20 years. He had an old injury that caused him enough pain to get prescribed quite a bit of narcotics. He ends up overdosing 3 times on narcotics. The last OD sent him to the ICU for 2 weeks. His kidneys went into failure and he develops blood clots in his left leg (he was found on the left side). I was always onto him about getting help. He knew he needed it, he just wasn't ready. One of our last conversations was me telling him "I don't need to go to another funeral. The next time you take too many you're done!" He tried to assure me everything was under control. I knew it wasn't and even called his Dr.'s office with concern. He has a past history of taking too much medication and a concerned friend calls in you would thing they would check into it. No! They never drugged tested him like they should have. They also should've called him and had him bring in his pill bottle for a count. But they didn't! They kept giving him meds and now he is gone. I feel the Dr.'s office should take some responsibility due to the fact they didn't d their job properly.
This is what pains me everyday! I am depressed. I wonder who is next and when? I just feel an emptiness inside. I don't understand why everyone around me is dying?
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Shawna, I am so very sorry for your losses. I have lost six people in 16 months, including 3 parents, so I empathize with you.
Have you talked to a professional about your depression? Would you consider doing that? I have finally come to grips w/my depression and will be seeing someone this week. It has become impossible to find joy in anything anymore so I know I need help.
I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
im so sorry shawna im so fed up coz of multi losses i hav had 2 day i had antr loss 2 add 2 my sad lst
i wish thr wz support grp sin area wear i am but got no suport grps only ths web site i fond 2 yrs ago
im sorry if im sayng wong thngs im jus not my slf 2 day or ths wk u cu say
so sorry for yore multi losses
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