Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.
Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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Lost one friend that I knew since the age of 1 and another that I knew since the age of 14 because they both thought they had this figured out for me and when I didn't go with their program one of them told me "ever since Michael died you think your royalty" ROYALTY was the word used. If this is "royalty" I'd rather live as a pauper.
They have their sons, they can talk to them, hug them, listen to them, look at them and see their futures. Me all I got is tears and memories.
Gabriels 21stb day on June 2 and 5 years gone on 5-26. The preparation and meditation and praying each year seem to go by the wayside every year as the dates approach. My sister and I are going on a trip during the hardest dates because when I am out of state the weight that feels so suffocating eases up. When I am traveling I can BREATH. Gabes 2 dads will stay in town and work and I am grateful they understand. Every day is 1 day closer to seeing my LOLLY again. I am mentally and physically exhausted as I know all moms feel maybe forever
Connie, I will never understand why people insist on saying stupid s**t like that. They have to know it's not helpful. I too understand what she was going for but how could she think that was helpful? I promise you if the tables were turned she would NOT find that comforting in the least. Clueless is the perfect word to describe people.
Last night my best friend who has been very supportive seems to have decided that she knows EVERYTHING about life and grief and how we should handle it. When talking about "survivor's guilt" she said "Daniel doesn't need healing. He is just perfect. He is perfect in his form." Although I understand what she was trying to say about his spirit ans that he was okay, I wanted to slap her face! Would her daughters be perfect if they were dead? I just said "it's hard to explain." and turned to another person at the table. She didn't say anything else about it because she knew what I meant. SHUT the F up! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS FEELS!!!I feel horrible now. I just wanted to leave right then but the evening had just started. It hurts so bad to have my friends seem so clueless and judgemental while you are struggling to make sense of the rubble of my life....
I get where Jill is coming from. I am not made that way either. My husband went to a couple of group meetings at a local hospital for people who lost children and I could tell from his description that it wasn't for me. I went to his grief counselor a few times but I felt she was trying to get me "past" it. Well, I don't want to be past it. I would like to feel better than now so I didn't dread holidays so much and didn't feel so anxious in crowds of people. But getting "past" it to me feels like putting my daughter in the past. And she is as present tense to me as she ever was. We saw another grief counsellor together and that was a nightmare. I hated it. All he would do is the Griefshare Program (which is fine but I don't think most people who have lost an only child would be helped by it-just my opinion). I was suicidal and he had us filling out a freaking workbook. One on one with my pastor/counsellor friend was much better. We talked about MY child and how I would see her again. That was what I needed to hear. Now I just live to see her again. It's a sucky existence.
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