Comment

Comment by Jill E on August 31, 2016 at 9:15pm

Thank you! Back at ya sweetheart... All my love always.

Comment by Connie K on August 31, 2016 at 6:26pm

Hugs Jill

Comment by Jill E on August 31, 2016 at 4:58pm

Connie-I want so much to believe in everything... That I will see my Josh again, that Josh knows how much I love and miss him and that Josh is watching over his little brother because Derek needs him so much. I want to believe in God. It is so hard. I am so tired. I try so hard to believe because it is all I have also. Hope

Comment by Connie K on August 31, 2016 at 3:18pm

Jill - I don't know - it's all I have at this point. I have lost my drive, motivation and almost my sanity! I'm gonna pray that I get through the day

Comment by Jill E on August 31, 2016 at 3:03pm

Is it worth praying when my prayers weren't answered when I asked for my son to be saved?

Comment by Connie K on August 31, 2016 at 11:48am

Hugs to everyone (((  )))

Comment by Connie K on August 31, 2016 at 11:47am

Dear Rita and Bruce

 I am so so very sorry for your losses. There are no words to express how devastated we are when we lose a child. I lost my only child in a sudden tragic car accident at age 17, 3 and a half years ago. The sudden loss sends you right into shock. I still also think about that night when the cops and coroner drove up to our house at 12:30pm. Daniel was supposed to be home long before and I couldn't find him anywhere. How I prayed he was in trouble and in that squad car. The horror of that night never leaves me. My faith that we will see each other again is what gets me through. I truly believe that spirit lives on and like to think he is doing amazing things w e cannot even imagine. Keep your heart open and look for signs that they are still with you. My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find some support and comfort here. We all understand and are here for you. Sending love and prayers.

Comment by Jill E on August 30, 2016 at 2:00pm

Rita-I totally understand... I cry when I see Josh's photos. His birthday was the 5th- he would have been 35. I would do anything and I mean anything to bring him back. My younger son misses him so much but we don't talk about Josh much as I think he doesn't want to make me sad. Poor kid I am so over protective of him. He lives in Texas now while I am in Arizona-so far from me. Hugs to all. I wish I had never met you, in this place, with so much in common, in so much pain. We are all here and I thank God I did meet you because here I can talk without the "happy" mask. Because we understand each other. I love you my Joshie. I miss you everyday.

Comment by Rita on August 30, 2016 at 11:54am

I live on a farm and I don't want to go out of the house. There are so many reminders of my Son, Jesse that it makes it hard...I don't want to go to town for fear I will see someone and they might ask me about the accident or how I'm doing.

Jesse was a welder by trade but he could do anything and I mean anything....He was very smart and talented, very creative. He could take junk and make something beautiful out of it.  I see all the things he fixed, created or worked on when I go outside and it is just too much for me to bear right now. This where he grew up and I see the little boy that was driving a tractor at 5 years old. Being a daredevil with his bike, building all the jumps and mud puddles to ride through. The swings in the barn, climbing the hay to get higher....so he could swing farther....The remnants of happier days and innocence gone.... when he was still a little boy eager to explore and experience everything.....  The grief is overwhelming!!

It's not the way it is suppose to go!!! I die first....not my children!!!

Comment by Rita on August 30, 2016 at 11:24am

I'm Rita and I like so many on this site have lost a child. An adult Son and my only Son. It happened July 5th, 2016. He was 38 days away from being 38 years old. Before this happened to me I couldn't imagine what it was like to lose a child and I didn't want to think about how much pain that would be and now I know and I wish I didn't. I have had a lot of hard days....I still have 2 adult Daughters. They miss him terribly. I can't talk about him without crying, I can't look at his picture without crying. Just thinking about him is painful...

He died in an auto accident on a rural road that he knew like the back of his hand. He had a defibrillator/pacemaker from a heart attack he suffered 2 years ago. We think he had a heart attack and caused the wreck. There was no skid marks of any kind, no attempt to stop or correct himself. He just put the pedal to the metal and hit the ditch (a very shallow ditch)and then a tree. Going at a very high rate of speed according to the Trooper. I guess he was after seeing his truck. I keep replaying when the Trooper came to my door in the early morning hours to tell me. I knew it was bad news....I just didn't expect it to be one of my children! I've been in shock ever since...I keep replaying that morning in my mind over and over and over...The pain is unbearable. There is nothing as painful as losing a Son or Daughter.........I wish I didn't know!!!

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