This is just September and I am already breaking down over the holidays

This is my first post. I lost my 35 year old son March 28th, 2010. Last year holidays (well the whole year) were awful. But this year since last month (Aug) its worse. I seem to be coming  unglued. I just don't know how I am going to make it. Also the hurting inside is so much worse. I am not crying off and on every day but the deep down inside hurting is worse. I just don't know how to deal with this.

 

http://harold-smith-jr.memory-of.com

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Permalink Reply by Lorie Dunn on September 18, 2011 at 3:12am
Teresa, I understand where you are coming from.  Not that every day isnt hard enough but the holidays, special occasions come along and it seems worse.  My son, Hunter, 16, died on 12/26/09.  Christmas was the last day that I saw him alive.  He was buried on 12/30, so Christmas and New Years celebrations are out.  I shopped online last year for my oldest son's (Chris) gifts and spent the rest of my time to myself (asleep on the couch) or riding through the mountains  Chris has since joined the military, so this year, I don't even have him here to focus on.  I will make all of the nessessary calls to family and friends, I will explain my new "tradition" of being alone. I will check in with them from time to time to let them know that I am okay so they don't worry too much and pray that the holidays are over quickly!  I hope you find your own way to cope with them (the holidays).  Remember to focus on you.  Do only what you think you can handle.  Your friends and family will understand.  God Bless You.

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