Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jean on February 17, 2014 at 12:11am

My cousin at my mothers funeral one year ago asked if I was upset because I would never see her again. Open mouth insert foot. It pissed off my best friend. I have so many zealots of different varieties in my family most of it rolls off my back like water does on a duck.

Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on May 14, 2014 at 1:20pm

Dear Merry,

     On April 10th you said,"Had someone tell me today that the reason God took Gary was because I loved Gary better and God knew it." What kind of cruel, fiendish, villain does this person think God is??? Nothing is further from the truth!  (1 John 4:8) "He that does not love has not come to know God, because God is love." Truth is that person obviously does NOT KNOW GOD!

     Please read this article on line and let me know what you think...

     "He is the God of the Living"

Brenda

Permalink Reply by Jean on February 17, 2014 at 12:12am

I think this is one of the best groups.

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on February 17, 2014 at 3:30pm

iv lost so mny famly frm yng 2 old i no i cnt hav kids but famly it has lost kids r u happy thy hav gon hw can th be happy thy hav lost th kids 

or at funrell r u happy at a funrell no

i got asket ths 1 r u happy tht yore dad died l k no i dnt lk any 1 dying i dnt

but ths 1 try 2 sort documents ot u nea yore dads singsre 2 sine it i cnt his ded but he stil has 2 sine ths forms i lft 2 my broth 2 xplan on cell fone all u got wz a lot of f@@@@@@@@@s u did 

u feal lk screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeammming wn thy ask thse thngs

Permalink Reply by Dolly on February 19, 2014 at 7:43am

I think ASHLEY hit the nail on the head.... I hope I remember that the next time someone says something stupid like that... usually I just stay AWAY from anyone who might talk to me about ANYTHING.. just in case...

Permalink Reply by Eva Van on April 16, 2014 at 10:04pm

I find people give you the standard cliches because it helps them feel they are being wise and helping you.

They mean no harm...I know, but i do not view the positive cliches the same as they now. I find if I answer truthfully it stems more of the same meaningless questions. If they ask how I'm doing I say, "I got out of bed this morning...they say it's good, but I remain unconvinced..." or if they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..." I tell them, "survival is overrated." Sometimes I get the,"there's always a light at the end of the tunnel..." I respond with,"Yeah, it's a train..." I am very negative, but that is how I feel. My view on life right now is, if she is in a better place, why do I want to be here? So I can gain strength ? For what? My next excrutiating trauma !!! Does that mean if I gain strength throught this one the next horrible event in my life won't be as painful ?? I already know this not to be true.

Permalink Reply by Michelle on April 27, 2014 at 10:53pm

One thing I've had someone say to me which never goes away is "she was only a child, it's my mum n dad that are dying, and my response was.. But your mum n dad have lived their life's my daughter was only six" xx

Permalink Reply by Dolly on April 28, 2014 at 8:08am

ONLY a child??????? ONLY???? 

Permalink Reply by Melissa T on July 2, 2014 at 7:39am

I lost my only child, my 15 year old daughter Kaitlin 5/20/08 to an accidental overdose, couldn't find my oldest friends number for a month or so, when I finally found it and called her and told her what had happened to Kaitlin, her response was "well she should have known better", WTF.... I never called her again,  nor did she call me. Friends like that who needs enemy's!!

Permalink Reply by Connie K on July 3, 2014 at 10:45am

What  an compassionate, ignorant and stupid thing to say. I'm sorry.

And Michelle, "only a child?" What in the hell are people even thinking?

One thing is for sure, we have all gained great insight and compassion for those who go through this life event called death. We know how to be present and give love and support to others who are going through this. I truly cannot believe how detached and cold some of the comments can be.

Platitudes about ow everything will be okay soon are just folks way of trying to say something positive I think because they don't know what else to say but these comments are just cruel and selfish and clueless

Permalink Reply by Rachel on August 20, 2014 at 11:06am

My closet freind just hurt me beyond anything anyone could have ever said.  Quote:  "You need to stop acting silly and go out, have fun.  My cousin lost her husband and she keeps busy by going out with her "DAUGHTER". 

 

OMG REALLY???? How dare he compare my greif of losing my DAUGHTER suddenly from a car accident to his cousin losing her husband to cancer.  Granted any loss is horible and I feel for her but she knew and was able to prepare her self for that day and say ""goodbye". 

I didn't get to say "goodbye".  I'm only 2 months into my grief.  And I'm still in the denial stage.  I hurt so bad and I want to cry for my beautiful daughter. Tears will stream down but I can't cry.  He really upset me.

Permalink Reply by Connie K on August 20, 2014 at 12:11pm

That was just so wrong of your friend Rachel. She really has no clue. I'm sorry she hurt you.

My friends and family always seems to end up in a conversation where they feel it necessary to tell stories about horrible car wrecks they or someone they know survived and how lucky they were. Or wrecks in which a friend was killed.  I guess it's their way of "relating" to me but it tears me up inside. I start reliving my son's tragic accident. I don't know what people are thinking....

If you feel close enough to this friend maybe you can give her a copy of the book "Tear Soup". I did for a few of my closest friends because it is such a beautiful little book and does enlighten them without me having to say anything. I just say I'd like to share this beautiful book I was given because it's so right on. The illustrations are gorgeous and poignant in themselves. Hang in there Rachel. Hugs to you.

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