Losing your only child

Has anyone lost their only child? I lost my 17 year-old son on Dec. 1,2012. I am 56 years old and had a hard time conceiving. After I had my son I had 3 miscarriages and could never have any other children. I devoted my life to Daniel and now am super lonely when I come home. We spent so much time together and we worked his whole life to ensure he would have a great future. Now he has no future and I feel like mine is gone too. I try to help someone everyday with the money we saved for Daniel's college. I know that serving others is the only thing that makes this life feel worthwhile to me anymore. I find it hard to find value in my own life. I just want him back and am hurting alot today. Thank goodness for my 3 cats and dog who greet me when I get home. My husband is supportive but also in great pain and he is at work a lot. It is hard to rebuild your life with this intense grief. I just want him back. I miss him so much. I have faith in Spirit and know he lives on but still, I want a hug from him!

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Permalink Reply by Michelle H on June 28, 2013 at 9:20pm

Connie, I am so sorry that you lost your only child. I can't imagine what that's like. With the babies you lost plus Daniel, you have a bunch of angels in heaven watching over you. I know that doesn't take away the pain. The loss of a child is like no other. I wish none of us ever had to experience that. Prayers and hugs

Permalink Reply by Connie K on June 29, 2013 at 4:28pm

Thank you Michele. I appreciate your kind words. But you are right. I believe that Daniel is finally not an only child anymore. He is with his sisters and that brings me a strange bit of joy if I can call it that. It was heartbreaking to lose them and for him to grow up without siblings. Now he can experience growing in other ways with them.

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